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Saturday, January 07, 2006
Not to worry. I'm certain you are as sick of hearing about my "Latin Flea Bite Disease" (Phlebitis [flee-bite-is] ) as I am. So I will not mention my foot at all in this entry. Not at all. I mean, if I hear about my latin flea bite again, I'll go stark raving mad! Mad! Mad, I say.
For example; I would not bother you with details of when I first get up and lower my foot from the bed, of the pain that follows as blood rushes down into the foot. Nor would I mention about my early morning lack of balance and nearly falling several times using both crutches. Nope - I will spare you all such details.
And to think, you came to my blog with dread, thinking I was going to crybaby more about my foot. What foot? I don't know what you're talking about! See - you feared for naught.
FORTUNE COOKIES YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE...,
- Your date is cheating on you!
- Confusion Say; you just ate poison cookie!
- Your In-Laws are moving in soon. Yes! Over your dead body.
- We hope you enjoyed your soup. We take pride in our Cat Soup Dejur.
-- - - what Fortune cookie would you not want to see?
PS - Interview with 11 year old, Renee Olstead coming soon. It really is..
Also if you wish to stop music from playing - just hit your [ESC] key once.
Posted at 08:53 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Thursday, January 05, 2006
One of my favorite quotes comes from Clint Eastwood in the Gauntlet; "Nag, nag, nag." And I've used it successfully to lighten tension between an irate woman and myself when I wrongfully (realized after the fact) jumped her husband's goat over a matter I should have just stayed out of. Relax P.E.T.A. people - it was a figurative goat only elsewise the verbal abuse would have left it bleeding from the ears. So now is my turn to Nag, on two different subjects.
I have to go back to QUACK Dr, as I cant get anyone else to see me soon enough. My foot it seems has been behaving most odd over the last week or so. About 4 days ago I woke up with my foot killing me, like it was broken. I didn't trip on anything, didn't get struck or stumped on nothing. I just woke up and there it was.
As the day progressed the pain went away and I could walk as good as ever. That is until the day before yesterday (?) when once again I woke up to an extremely painful foot. Feels like its broken. Anyway - same story. No reason for it, no bruising - just a slight, barely noticeable swelling or puffiness. As the day progressed it was better. The next morning, same thing, except it kept a slight presence of pain being the differentiator.
This morning I uhm.., well ... let me quote the famous dwarf, Tattoo, from Fantasy Island.., "The pain, boss! The pain!" And it do hurt. So unless I die from the pain (fat chance) I'll be seeing a doctor about this new problem on Friday. The pain runs along the top side of foot, running roughly along the inside side behind the big-toe knuckle up just below the ankle bone, not the arches - I might add
Nag session number two is it seems some uneducated duder, tends to think if you don't have dark skin, you are not Native American. I don't know why that offends me but it do. Yeah I have mixed blood but I'm about 1/4 Cherokee and while I don't have the high cheek bones (or do i?) or dark skin nor do I have feathers growing out of my scalp - the Native American Indian blood still flows through these veins just the same. This person probably just has a racist attitude toward White people - maybe thats his problem. Well.., yeah.., I'm still offended.
But then among the full and half blood Native Americans there is a split; Those who accept Heinz 57's like myself and then there are those who insist recognition of full blood only. What's to do. Nothing of course. But you know what? I said it before - when you add all my known bloodlines together with potential unknown ones - I become - Liquorice American. So there you have it! Cherokee, Scottish, English and ??? - and therefore I am..., [insert dramatic musical overture] ... Liquorice American!
Having said that - YES - I am still on hiatus. What you are reading is a hiccup. I am not here. I'm in pain. And I'm looking for a cleaning service brave enough to lift the unholy, indescribable debris in my 70s shag carpet, left there by unknown revelers. For the Indian lovers - there is no Cherokee word for "goodbye". The closest word there is means, "Until we meet again". Unfortunately, I don't know what that word is. And I like that. Never having to say, goodbye. Unless someone keeps making me mad - then I think I can find that "goodbye" word real appealing, real fast.
Parting FYI - to those partially blooded Native Americans like me - save yourself some embarrassment and never tell full bloods that your great or great great great grandmother was an Indian Princess. That was an 1800s written by a white man's dime novel misconception. There were no Indian princesses nor princes, no matter what you've been told or assumed. Except in the poetic sense of course. You've just been educated - drop money in bucket on the way out. I'm raising funds to hire Abby and Ssprite to hunt the, scoundrel Indian/White man hater, down like a duck and thrash him like a.., like a.., whatever gets thrashed. Thank you.
Posted at 07:28 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Gone not even one full day and I find my 70's orange shag carpet all covered in cookie crumbs and splashes of barf! If that's not bad enough some one or some several some ones broke off the famous Daveman theater sign and messed up the advert-box!!!! I made a temporary sign out of paper and taped it to the wall.
Anyways - I'm still on hiatus. Just thought I'd check in and let folks know someone tripped the alarm prompting me to see what was going on. An investigation is in the works to find out who stole my sign. Who ever the guilty party is will end up on a chain gang to pay for it. Thats right! the whole $1.50 and seeing chain-gangs only make 35 cents a day - I figure ((pauses and cyphers in head))... one thousand and twenty two days hard labor. I'm back on my Walk-a-Bout.
Posted at 11:50 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Monday, January 02, 2006
Am taking a break. I stay broke so that should pose no problem. So pitch a tent outside and wait. I need to recharge or something. Maybe a day should do it or two or three or ??? maybe an hour. It's a, "I wont know till I get there", type of thing. In the meantime - act busy and spread out. You look suspicious all lumped together. See ya.
Posted at 01:03 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Sunday, January 01, 2006
So far this year I've done lots! I woke up, got dressed, switched on the computer and went to the baff-room while the puter warmed up, had my breakfast, went outside to see if anything looked different (and it didn't), came back inside, turned on the Tv and listened to the news to see if the world blew up (and it didn't, not yet anyway).., logged onto the internet and posted this entry.
Looks like 2006 will be a busy year thus far. But really - what was I doing during the transition of 05 to 06? Was I watching Dick Clark do his annual gig at Times Square? Maybe I went to a grand fireworks celebtartorial? Or something else? If you said something else - make it sleeping and you guessed correctly.
I wanted to sit up and at least sing the traditional New Years song..., "Old Lame Sighs".., but alas.., the comfort of my bed seemed to call me... and I wasn't even on drugs! Is that cool? or what!? So what did you do during those critical minutes from 11:59pm to 12:00am?
NOTE: There is no way Im ever eating blackeyed peas for New Years or any other holiday. Unless of course its the only food available... THEN..., I'll eat it and make myself like it. Nuff sed, Jed. Come to think of it, I dont even listen to Blackeyed Peas. They get all in yer ears and thats nasty.
Posted at 06:31 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
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