I don't even want to talk - I might upchuck, I am soooo full. Theres not a lot to say, the eateries was the whole shebang.  I will confess something really sad. So don't tell anyone else ok. Not even the person standing next to you.

Dad was insisting on saying Blessings - and "now".  Grrrrrr - I needed to bathroom really bad. But no, he wanted to do this now. He's slipping I guess - in that everyone should be settled in at the table - or maybe I'm slipping. But the man doooo like to say grace so imagine how long saying / asking blessings over Thanksgiving Dinner was.

So there I was - my bladder about to go kablooey and he's just getting warmed up after 2 minutes (give me a break) and my eyes were closed not so much in reverence as it was concentrating on not piddling myself right there on the spot. All through the process I could not focus on his words - my own inner voice was drowning him out with a silent mantra.., "I got to pee - I got to pee - I got to pee - now!"

Finally - the words "Amen" I heard that one distinctly and fled like felon to the bathroom. Relief is not spelled R-O-L-A-I-D-S.., I promise you. It's spelled, "P-E-E-I-N-G   M-Y   B-R-A-I-N-S  O-U-T"

AHEM.., you may have noticed the player box in the left sidebar. Its all songs that I have sung myself - some of them are duets I did with Amy, Maxine and Rhonda - all three are my friends from Bix and accomplished singers, unlike myself. There maybe other duets added later with others. These songs are a potpourri of Rock, Country and some of it Gospel (no rap - I hate rap - rap is crap and not music). You can rate the songs, as the are displayed at the top when playing you'll see some stars - rate me as you please, I wont know who voted 1 star or all.

This is probably the best way for me to showcase my songs without making people feel forced to listen - and not clutter my blog entries past the textual clutter I make in blogginging.

Ok - thats all I gots ta say about that. As you you were - hasta lavista. Go back to your rat killing, you rodent killing savages.

I will be spending Thanksgiving here with the parents and my youngest brother. I never see my daughter on Thanksgiving Day or Xmas - the in-laws always take priority. But I'm good with that, a little miffed maybe, a little heart broke perhaps, but I can deal with it. But the worse possible thing that could possibly happen has reared its ugly head - a tragic epitaph on the scrolls what bear my life's history....,

My Satellite Tv is on the fritz! and will remain that way till Friday! OH THE HORROR!!! A Travesty gone completely awry! I held my Tv receiver box close and sobbed the night away. The poor piece of crap is about to go belly up. I looked into its sad pathetic little blinking green light trying to be brave.., thinking, 'you poor little thing - please don't go - we have so many more episodes to watch.., of, Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, Psych, Burn Notice.., and oh the old re-runs I dote on like The Rifleman, The Rockford Files, Star Trek.., and the cool educational shows on history, the mysteries of the universe, time travel sciences and oh so much more.'

Last I checked - its little green light is still aglow, as it struggles to be brave and maintain a picture - ok the picture looks a little psychedelic, partly washed out but its a sign its still with us.
**dave wipes a tear away - clearing throat** If it can just hang on till Friday.., till friday.

In the meantime - I'm pigging out on Thanksgiving!!!! YEAH!

On a more seriously note - we have a lot to be Thankful for - friends, family, pets, a roof over our heads, that at least for now we live in freedom. Oh and we have lots of cool Tv shows to watch - some of us do - some of us cant.

Announcing my new incredible D.A.B, system (Dog Always Behave)!!!!

Thats right! With this amazing device yuo just aim it at your dog's brain, press a button and invisible mind control rays penetrate your dog's skull and creates a state of cooperativeness in doggies brain.

Once your dog has been "cooperatized" you can tell Fido, to stay in the yard, to never jump on you, fix your sandwiches and cook your meals, and be still your beating heart.., cluck like a chicken!!! How many times have you wanted to make your dog cluck like a chicken!?  Countless times no doubt,

[ PRODUCT PHOTO NOT AVAILABLE ]

WARNING: Husbands must not use this device on their wives. Once they figure out what you are doing, it could lead to sever injuries (broken bones, lacerations and cranial fractures).

DISCLAIMER:  DOES NOT WORK ON DOGS NOT NAMED FIDO. CHANGING CURRENT NAME TO FIDO MIGHT WORK BUT DOUBTFUL UNLESS YOU ARE CHANGING FIDO TO FIDO. IF YOU REALLY THINK THIS DEVICE WORKS I HAVE REAL-ESTATE IN DEATH VALLEY WITH AN TERRIFIC VIEW OF THE OCEAN AT A BARGAIN PRICE, YOU'LL LOVE IT! DEVICE WILL NOT WORK ON CERTAIN DOGS NAMED FIDO AND ONLY WORKS ON IMAGINARY DOGS NAMED FIDO.

If you heard I was away in Venezuela making deals with Emperor Hugo Chavez - It's SNOT true!  Is not true, rather. Ipso facto, pepto bizmo. The truth is.., erm.., I went to France. Contrary to popular belief, the national language is French, not Arabic - although I think there is some talk about switching to Davemanese but thats still being decided.

What was I doing there in France? I don't know. Last I remember is Bob (my E.T. friend) was visiting after I brought out my pain pills, took a few trips to the moon in his nifty 57 Chevy stylized interstellar space craft. See pictures last entry. Anyway I woke up staring up the skirts of the Awful Tower.  Have you seen that thing? Its just steel girders slapped together in some kind of sick A-Frame - maybe its the letter A in the French Alphabet. And the author had very very bad hand writing. Probably cursive. The French curse a lot ya know. Well.., they talk dirty anyway,

Then I fell asleep again and had a dream that I was writing all this down in my blog. And you were there, and you were there and ..., YOU were there and..., You wasn't there and then there was AbbyNormal wearing that backpack, hair back in a braided pony tail aiming a silencer at me and screaming "SHUT THE HELL UP!" Cause I think she is a afraid I will tell national trade secrets since Presidenté Bush confides a lot in me. No - Not THAT Bush - the other Bush - where they make beans and have a talking dog... yeah .. that Bush.  And Blues Brutha thought I was talking about a burning bush. Although that did happen once - I didnt like that bush and set it on fire and I was doing a lot of talking to that bush. "Die you stinking bush! Stare at me that way will ya? I show you!". It didn't say anything back, but thats ok - I don't get any arguments and certainly no screaming. If that had been a real person - that could have been embarassing. For me. "Yes Officer - I wanted to talk to a burning Bush just like Moses..., my neighbor should have changed his name. So its not really my fault, ya see?"

But thats not going to happen because I am not venturing near this blog to write anything because I don't wanna get sh..., hello? whats this warm running sensation running down my..., oh man!  Escuse me I have to go bathroom now.  My back is still killing me too. Im going back to bed now. After I go bathroom. Of course.