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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Night of the Iguana Piranha
When daughter was around 8 years of age, I purchased for her one beautiful Beta.., a black beauty with a blue stripe. She named him(?) Cuddles. Cuddles was her very sweet and cuddly enduring friend. To everything else that moved it was a creature from hell's depths and he sat in his rather large Gold Fish Bowl in the living room, where I could insure that she fed the creature. One morning I happened to turn my head and catch the yellow Tom Cat perched with paws on either side of the rim of the bowl, licking his chops. The cat figured it was a Long John Silver's buffet - poor thing. Before he knew what had happened, Tom Kitty leaped up into the air and ran for his life! Cuddles had launched himself like a Pershing missile and darted the cat right in the nose. Tom Kitty never came around that bowl again, despite the prayers of Cuddles that he would. Then there was the day daughter and I watched Cuddles swimming, quite content and calm. We discussed why we could Not put other fish in the tank with Cuddles, and as if to punctuate the point, a fly lit on the rim of Cuddle's domain. Launching up out of the water and back again, the poor fly was subtly removed from existence with a waterly "bloop!".
Alas, poor Cuddles, we knew him well. He was the fish straight from hell. But he lived his life in fear of nothing, and in that I am sure he died quite content. Rest his little fishy soul in peace. He lived for about a year and died. We gave him a fitting funeral. "Dig a hole, daughter, and make it deep! We don't want him coming back!!"
| EDITORS NOTE: No human beings were harmed during the events as described. However, two cats, a goat and several chickens are unaccounted for. **shrugs** |
Posted at 11:25 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Sunday, October 30, 2005
My Grandson - the Little Ninja!
My daughter took these pics of the LITTLE NINJA today and sent them to me ... LoL...., and he's buzzing the house now that he's found his legs mucho better.., pushing kitchen chairs and pushing his luck. I fuzzed the background on one pic, and totally replaced the background on his Little Ninja shot.
I suspect his daddy (being a blackbelt in karate) tried to pose the little guy in his Ninja outfit, with his left arm down, and right arm crooked for a swift punch.
Posted at 10:29 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Whats with people these days? Have you ever checked the discussions area under the news stories on Yahoo!? No matter what the news story - you get hordes of people babbling insanities, sometimes on topic - mostly NOT! A story about the Wizard of Oz for example - the discussion board will turn it into a racial or religious argument.
Anyone who posts something on topic, is met with idiocy of unheard of dimensions. Some "wanna-be" Christian or Muslim or Neo Nazi wants to kill you or somebody else. Explicit cheap tawdry remarks are always present - AND YET - Yahoo has this useless Notice that you cant say anything threatening, and you cant do this and you cant do that..Or Else!. and this stuff goes on unmonitored. I mean - the story about Iran threatening the Jews? You should have read the message board!! Everyone was threatening anyone down to their grandmother's cat. I guess Yahoo's "or else" warning is "or else.., we do nothing to you! Take that you bad boy you!"
 I'm just glad to be back here where I can feel like a part of normalcy again. So I kick up my bare stinky feet, put on my Overload Helmet, call the royal Kissup to find out whats on the agenda for today. He tells me one of my loyal subjects was on Yahoo bantering with morons again. SO - an Overload's job is a curse really - I called this subject forward for his punishment. Kiss The Royal Chicken! The subject stands just so, puckers his lips as I wind up the royal rubber chicken to about 1,260 RPMS and POW! Right in the old bucket!! This tends to keep the subjects in line here on planet Davemania. The only real problem on my world is a global identity crises. Have you ever been in a room full of Daves and Davids? Magnify that experience to the size of Jupiter, except further out. Waaay out.
Okay - I'm outta here people! behave yourselves or Kiss the Royal Chicken!
Posted at 10:42 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Friday, October 28, 2005
Don't Worry About Me, I Have It All Under Control.
 The Little guy is officially 1-year old this month! Haven't seen my grandson in quite a while now and I miss the little guy. Not even on his birthday. But I'm not the only grandparent who goes through this I suppose. Daughter and her husband have their lives to live. And I got to respect that. But petty me, I feel so slighted because daughter lives next door to her mother and father in law, and they get to see the little scamp daily. Yeah - I'm petty. Shame on me! Shame I say, shame. It's not so much jealousy as it is not wanting to be a stranger to my grandson. That's the biggest fear I have - just right there in the open. I do not want to be a stranger to the little guy. I mean - I had the honor of being there, watching his birth! Actually watched him - just as I witnessed the birth of my daughter - this beautiful child being born into the world. I can not tell you how intense and wonderful an experience this is. Words just don't do.
Oh well. I will do as I've always done. Deal with the situation and try to keep my emotions in check. I'm really quite good at keeping myself in check. I really am. So I should be proud of how calm and collected I am as a positive attribute and just focus on those things. Thats what I will do! Okay, I rattled enough. I've gotta go now. Have some walls to repair, a couple of busted doors to replace, window panes to fix and debris scattered across the floor to clean up.
**kicks the cat on the way out**
Posted at 11:14 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Swimming Chickens Don't Use Cell Phones
Of all the frozen pizza on the market - Red Baron, is king! Most others taste like eating cardboard. In fact I've eaten some frozen pizza that cardboard would have been preferred. Totino's is just a level above cardboard pizza but not by much, and I will eat it of I'm hungry. Degorno Frozen Pizza - is just way too salty for my taste and does not taste like home delivery - sorry! Just one taste was enough to send me away gagging and spitting that salty taste. Blyeck! - No chickens were harmed nor injected with Avian Flu to make this portion of the entry.-
Okay - so me fathah gave me new Blog Fodder from yesterday. He laid his cell phone on a dish rag near a bowl filled with water. Rinsing his hands at the kitchen sink, he looked around - spotted the dishtowel and yanked it up sending his cell-phone into the drink. Did you know cell-phones don't work so good after baptismal? No, they don't.
- A few chickens were harmed during this phase of my blog entry and sadly, staff members failed to acquire a vial of avian flu, however used irradiated cell-phone water in its place - we apologize for any inconvenience -
Posted at 02:24 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
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