Announcing my new incredible D.A.B, system (Dog Always Behave)!!!!

Thats right! With this amazing device yuo just aim it at your dog's brain, press a button and invisible mind control rays penetrate your dog's skull and creates a state of cooperativeness in doggies brain.

Once your dog has been "cooperatized" you can tell Fido, to stay in the yard, to never jump on you, fix your sandwiches and cook your meals, and be still your beating heart.., cluck like a chicken!!! How many times have you wanted to make your dog cluck like a chicken!?  Countless times no doubt,

[ PRODUCT PHOTO NOT AVAILABLE ]

WARNING: Husbands must not use this device on their wives. Once they figure out what you are doing, it could lead to sever injuries (broken bones, lacerations and cranial fractures).

DISCLAIMER:  DOES NOT WORK ON DOGS NOT NAMED FIDO. CHANGING CURRENT NAME TO FIDO MIGHT WORK BUT DOUBTFUL UNLESS YOU ARE CHANGING FIDO TO FIDO. IF YOU REALLY THINK THIS DEVICE WORKS I HAVE REAL-ESTATE IN DEATH VALLEY WITH AN TERRIFIC VIEW OF THE OCEAN AT A BARGAIN PRICE, YOU'LL LOVE IT! DEVICE WILL NOT WORK ON CERTAIN DOGS NAMED FIDO AND ONLY WORKS ON IMAGINARY DOGS NAMED FIDO.

If you heard I was away in Venezuela making deals with Emperor Hugo Chavez - It's SNOT true!  Is not true, rather. Ipso facto, pepto bizmo. The truth is.., erm.., I went to France. Contrary to popular belief, the national language is French, not Arabic - although I think there is some talk about switching to Davemanese but thats still being decided.

What was I doing there in France? I don't know. Last I remember is Bob (my E.T. friend) was visiting after I brought out my pain pills, took a few trips to the moon in his nifty 57 Chevy stylized interstellar space craft. See pictures last entry. Anyway I woke up staring up the skirts of the Awful Tower.  Have you seen that thing? Its just steel girders slapped together in some kind of sick A-Frame - maybe its the letter A in the French Alphabet. And the author had very very bad hand writing. Probably cursive. The French curse a lot ya know. Well.., they talk dirty anyway,

Then I fell asleep again and had a dream that I was writing all this down in my blog. And you were there, and you were there and ..., YOU were there and..., You wasn't there and then there was AbbyNormal wearing that backpack, hair back in a braided pony tail aiming a silencer at me and screaming "SHUT THE HELL UP!" Cause I think she is a afraid I will tell national trade secrets since Presidenté Bush confides a lot in me. No - Not THAT Bush - the other Bush - where they make beans and have a talking dog... yeah .. that Bush.  And Blues Brutha thought I was talking about a burning bush. Although that did happen once - I didnt like that bush and set it on fire and I was doing a lot of talking to that bush. "Die you stinking bush! Stare at me that way will ya? I show you!". It didn't say anything back, but thats ok - I don't get any arguments and certainly no screaming. If that had been a real person - that could have been embarassing. For me. "Yes Officer - I wanted to talk to a burning Bush just like Moses..., my neighbor should have changed his name. So its not really my fault, ya see?"

But thats not going to happen because I am not venturing near this blog to write anything because I don't wanna get sh..., hello? whats this warm running sensation running down my..., oh man!  Escuse me I have to go bathroom now.  My back is still killing me too. Im going back to bed now. After I go bathroom. Of course.

News Flash:  Daveman gets sick - AGAIN - before his cold cleared the bufferin bottle, he came down with one heck of a kick butt bug.  He's dying - if you were to listen to him.  The truth is, he may wish he was dead feeling so bad, but he will live another day or two - three anyway.  Unless of course a plane falls out of the sky or something.

News Flash:  Something fell out of the sky..., daveman declares, "What thuh!?"

News Flash: Aliens have taken over New York - not certain if its the City, the State or if New York is an acronym for a German shorts manufacturer. Does it really matter? They're here! Run for your lives!

H A P P Y B I R T H   D A Y   J.O.B.!!!
Today is my youngest grandson's birthday!

My first ever excursion with the grandkids to the park
on a Sunday when my back was not hurting so bad.
The best time I ever had!
So yeah today is JOB's birthday, and he's 1 year old!
he wears clothes for 2 year olds. The boy is a giant
Thats my boyo!