Prayers for Herb's Dad - are requested.  Well wishes are good too.

 

John Fogerty (of CCR fame) has a new album out, "Revival" - 12 songs, all of them really good stuff. Its a little bit country, a little bit of the old rock and rollishness he was best known for.  I recommend this to to any CCR / John Fogerty Fan.

 

Update On Daughter:
It seems baby Job, is teasing his momma. First he's ready to go - then he backs off.  The doctor said if she hasn't had the baby by next Thursday, they may want to induce labor. Oh sure! hasn't the girl gone through enough? Now he wants to put her to work in the middle of the whole birthing thang.  (Job is an acronym by the way)

 

The Future of Caption Contests here at Davemania;  Your opinions and suggestions are appreciated.  I'm thinking of an experimental project whereby the participants make up a caption without seeing the image to be used - in which case I would provide only a short description of said image - OR - better yet.., no description at all. The winner would naturally be the one who's caption came closest to fitting the preselected image.  What say ye?

 

* I was born on a Saturday in the Spring on March 29, 1958

     * I am 18,101 days old - so yeah, I prefer to hear it in years, thank you.

           * I am also.., 434,439 hours old!  Wow! But wait - it gets worse!

                 * I am 1,563,980,960 seconds old!!!!!!  NOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!

 

Cussing Good for You?  Some lame brained [censored] British professor has determined through his agenda.., I mean .., studies.., that cursing in the work place is good for you and makes for excellent camaraderie with your work-mates. What a load of [censored] !!! This dumb [censored] no doubt loves to cuss so he concocts this [censored] [censored] [censored] survey, which just has to be rigged in order to justify his desire to openly cuss like some [censored] [censored] [censored] .., I mean.

        If I wanted I guarantee you I could do a study, any study to try and justify something.  All you need is volunteer subjects who angle that way and you have the makings of a study.  Same with documentation surveys.  I could scour the internet and snag all kinds of propaganda from other so called professors or whatever - and come up with erroneous conclusions to pass off as a matter of fact.  MOST Studies these days are pure worthless [censored].

            Honestly - while I can tolerate cursing - I can NOT tolerate those who can not speak without swearing once, twice or more in every single sentence. Its depressing. Its negative. There is nothing positive about it unless you enjoy hanging with people who love to cuss.  I'm sorry, but that is a sorry state to exist in, when one loves to curse.  I used to curse ALLOT!  It didn't make me happy or a better person AND it didn't improve the lives of those around me.  In fact I drew allot of flack for it.  Thats not a positive impact my friend.  If I have to curse to make friends - I do not need those people as friends. Again I'm talking about extreme habitual cursing - not everyone who says a word now and then.

            Okay - I'm done ranting now.  So get your sorry [expletive]'s back to work, you  lazy gold bricking [censored] people.  Cheese Louise. AND SOMEBODY BRING ME A [expletive] SAMMICH! Pronto!  Cant ya feel the love here, you [expletive]'s?  I do.  I feel closer to everyone already..., hello?  hello? HELLO? Alright! Who hid my favorite [censored] people? <groan>  I guess what works in the work place doesn't work in the blog place. <sigh> [expletive] !!! I get no repect.

 

 

 

I was there the day you were born, grandson. Watched you come
into this world with these two eyes of mine, I did. The same eyes which

welcomed your mother so many years ago. and cradled her in my arms.

The same arms which cradled you. I love you, ya little tadpole

- - and I must add, you still owe me for a shirt you upchucked on, like yer maw!

- - By Popular Vote - -

 

your blog to taunt others that your (ahem) blog is bigger.

 

HONORABLE MENTION: 

SCOTT (2nd Place)
http://husbands.blogdrive.com/

"Those who failed the audition for the Village People didn't give up;

they went on to form the mildly unsuccessful 'One Horse Town People'."

 

DIESEL (3rd Place)

"You wuz even better than that FBI feller!"

Its true. I am the coolest, baddest dude ever. In my mid-life crises, I spared no expense on genuine imitation leather jacket and chaps - without the chaps, and my hog is a top of the line Fisher Price trike, fully loaded, baby.

 

So I tooled down town yesterday just to show off when I ran into this biker gang, what thought they were all that and a bag of greasy fries. The punks. Oh sure, all three of these thugs were riding some nice ten speed Schwinns, but they really were just punks after you strip away all that youthful testosterone and the Schwinns.

 

They sported the colors of, The Bad Ashes.., blue jean jackets with a picture of cigarette butt filled ashtrays on the backs.., a notorious gang  to be sure.  As they surrounded me on the road, the leader motioned me to pull off at a local greasy spoon.  Not being one to run from trouble - I complied.

 

In the parking lot of, Le Shady Grady's Café,  we all dismounted our rides, and I stood alone in the midst of these punk hooligans like Billy Jack in the Bored Losers.  One of them called the leader by name.., "Jam Sammich.., maybe we shouldn't mess wit da old dude. I mean, a dude his age riding a Fisher Price trike has just gotta be tough.".  The leader paused, eyed me cautiously, like sizing up something potentially meaner than he was..., "Yeah, Panky. Maybe you're right."

 

I stood my ground and sneered at em.., "I know what you're thinkin' punks;  Did I pass wind once, twice or did I unload the whole gland at one time back on the road? You maybe thinking the chamber is empty.., BUT..,the real question is; do you feel lucky, punks?  Well..., do ya?"

 

Jam Sammich, eyed his crew.., "I dont know about this. Looks like we just stirred up a stink bigger than us, boys."  And with that he approached me cautiously, his hands wide.., "Dude, what say we settle this the old fashioned way. We pay you money to leave us alone and we leave you alone."

 

I thought it over. I really didn't want to open up a whole can of stink on these boys.  Their screaming would be almost unbearable.  "Deal. Pay up. And if you think about short changing me, I must warn you.  I armed myself this morning with two cans of Bushes Best baked beans.  I've had my eye on a cool, ice blue Fisher Price Big Wheel, that I been saving up for and your contributions will make my dream machine, come true."

 

Jam Sammich and Panky shelled out the entire contents of their wallets.  The third one drew out his wallet but hesitated on extracting his money.  "Butt Shank.., you better hand it over dude. This guy means business. We don't need a dual can of beans unleashed on us" said Jam Sammich, with a tear welling up.

 

Butt Shank, caved in and paid me off.  To this day, even though its not even been a full 24 hours, they show respect and keep a distance. Yep - I'm bad, but when you ride a Fisher Price trike in public, you gotta be.  Just wait till them boys see my Turbo Charged walker! Yeah buddy! I SO RAWK!

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