I have kidnapped your precious Daveman! Muahahahaa! Not to worry. I'm not asking you for the Ransom.  HE has to pay ME - Or else! If he don't, then You WILL see him again, that much I promise. Uhm.... I mean if he does pay you will see him again .., yeah .., yeah.., thats what i meant.

But if he don't pay - He wont see himself again. Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! Muahahahahaa! - cough - cough - wheeeeeze .....,  AHEM!

The problem is, he says he is fine with that, no more mirrors to tend to, no appearance pressures, no fashion trends, he doesn't even want to get out and vote for any presidential candidate casting of losers.., as he put it.  No this no that. I was asking for a million dollars but he showed me his bank book so I had to reduce my demand to $5.25

The man is nuts. He's salivating on his arms as a plan to try and slip the cuffs off his wrists.  I'm not sure why he is wearing hand-cuffs, because all I did was shackle him to the wall. One of you must have furnished him with those cuffs.  And you thought I was insane? Yeah - right.

Signed
~ Kidnapper Daveman
Yeah I kidnapped myself!
it has the merit of never been
tried before. That I know of

Have you ever had one of THOSE days? Yeah, you know what I am talking about and speaking as of which - why cant they make a SPELL CHECKER that will actually corrected all the repeat misspelled words at one time rather than take you through every single one!   Common words like "the" misspelled as "teh" or "you" as "yuo" for example.  Am I the only one to misspell these words every now and then when getting in a hurry?

I am?  Well poot.  Yeah, thats right! I SAID "POOT".  I knew you would be impressed at my word usage skills.  I are smart. Be envious!  No seriously - I expect it. Go ahead, be envious - its alright.  Just this once, bask in it! I insist.  It becomes you, you should wear it more often, maybe with that new ensemble you purchased recently? Yeah - now you're talkin'!

Some dude made news supposedly famous for FREE HUGS?  What thuh???  I don't recall charging for my hugs - do you?  So WHY the blue hades is HE famous and all that crud??? When I say crud, Im not talking about HUGS being crud, but when doing it for attention instead of from the heart - Thats Crud! Why cant WE be famous for giving away hugs.  Someone might say "Yeah but he was hugging strangers, Dave! not himself".  And I haven't?  I have hugged strangers who seemed to need it.  I WANT MY 15 MINUTES OF FAME!

"But Dave! CHILL!  This man was NOT looking for attention when he gave away the hugs".  Oh really?  Then what the heck was with that big hand painted sign around his neck, "Free Hugs"??  ATTENTION - Hello! He probably called the media to observe his so called act of kindness too.

Of course I am kidding about wanting 15 minutes of fame for hugging somebody.  I don't advertise - "Hey people - look at me - I am hugging this person FOR FREE". Never have, never will. Somebody contact my agent - I need to copyright that as my new slogan next time I go out to hug someone I don't know.

I don't know about you - but Im going now to get hugs from Lady Fri. She's handing them out for free too. Oh the $1.25 thing?  That's just the handling fee.

Daveman in his first dance movie?
This is wild - they changed up my photo a bit, stripped off my beard a little and I think my eyebrows - LoL.  They things the make up crew does to ya for the big screen.   Uhm - but uh - yeah thats really me dancing - (cough-cough)
Now about those back problems....

Schmedlap and Dunlap Associates (top secret government watchdog) cited today that the Obama Camp has rallied alliances with Hillary Clinton for a full out black ops coupe against McCain & Palin. Evidence has been collected which includes receipts for massive quantities of mud pies, spit-wads and drinking straws - YOU DO THE MATH!  A blood bath is expected, another St.Valentines Day Massacre without the pools-of-blood special effects. But then don't rule out CGI imposed impalement.

With clout like this, you just know Obama is the Antichrist and Hillary his false profit. Eh.., whatever. Just go back to whatever it was you were doing. I need a nap. All this genious creativity has worn me out.

I probably wont post anymore songs I do - but I wanted to honor those who fought for freedom, who died for freedom AND for those who at least died free on 9-11.  These bastard terrorists will just have to choke on that - I'd rather die free than to live under their screwed up oppressive way of life.

"FREEDOM"