I know you ALL are going to envy me cause I finally found out what my Super Dave power is!!!  Okay watch - see this stick? Of course you dont - but trust me its here in my hand.

Now I'm waving my free hand over the stick and concentrating real hard - kind of like when you are constipated really bad.  Okay! Did you see that! I hope not cause I think I just soiled myself - but the STICK - THE STICK - did you see the stick?  Of course you didnt.

Well I guess thats my second super dave power, making stuff hidden from you all! You all.  But anyway.., this wooden stick has been magically transformed into A STICK OF WOOD!  bet you never seen David Copperfield pull that one off - huh!? It was a "wooden stick" but now, its a "stick of wood"!!!!

I just saw your jaws drop to the floor in amazement. No I didnt but I imagined it really good.

Okay now for a LARRY THE CABLE GUY SINGING SESSION...,using my voice of course. This made Hall of Fame where I sing at so in theory its entertaining. Dern Hillbilly Love Ballads bring tears tew muh eyeballs. Actually we men dont cry. Our eyeballs just sweat profusely.

It wasn't quite the moment I expected.  I spent a small fortune on this safari, tracking it down. Legends purported it was there but the natives were too fearful and guides would lead me no further. "Bad juju" said Sambi. "No go - yo go great white fly hunter what is Arkansas Dave, but me Sambi stay here."

"Very well you lilly livered coward, Sambi, you stay - great white fly hunter what is Arkansas Dave, will go into this dangerous wilderness alone. But I warn you - if I get killed or eaten - which is essentially the same thing unless.., never mind.., the point is - I will come back and haunt you AND your ancestors AND your little dawg TuTu. Shut up and don't ask." I replied with defiance.

The map in my hand was old, brittle, worn - fragile. I could make out traces of hand script that suggested what I sought had to be a great distance from where I stood.., and well.., it was.  A great distance for a piss-ant. There sat the legendary Sack of PuPu a mere twenty feet away, tucked under a rock.  It was an aged leather pouch with an object inside the likes of which no living or dead man has ever seen - except for whoever put it there I suppose. What was inside? No one knew.

I approached the sack carefully because you just never know about dangerous primitive traps built with the cunningness of expert modern day engineers. I could possibly just reach and grab it - but suppose it was placed on a balanced stone which if I removed it without thinking, a giant AXE might swing down from a hidden recess in a tree - OR - a giant rabid killer boulder come chasing me. Those damned giant rabid killer boulders are awful darn smart, them giant rabid killer boulder's are.

So I approached the sack with stealthiness - that there means quiet and carefully - I coulda just said that instead - but shut up and quit interrupting this long drawn out exposition with your thoughts, this is my story.  I grabbed a long stick to poke at the sack from a safe distance.  IT WAS A SNAKE!  A deadly lethal "BoboaBabaBabaBabay Boa Restrictor" which could kill an elephant in fifteen seconds!  But since I wasn't an elephant, big deal.  So I poked the legendary Sack of PuPu with the BoboaBabaBabaBabay Boa Restrictor!  It was dead and stiff as a board anyway so it worked quite well.

Nothing happened. So I hit the Sack of PuPu... and..., yep  sure enough - nothing happened. So I pounced on the Sack of PuPu and opened it up!!!!!  Inside the sack..., was something totally unexpected... A MAP!  A Map showing exactly where I was standing.  And in tiny print at the bottom of the map was a note written in ancient Gibberish by an ancient Gibberishian Tribesman.., "Hahahahaha - you dumb ass".

- THUH END -

With all due respect to my long time co-blogging family member  AbbyNormal  who just recently purchased her own hoity toity designer pappasan chair which she cant use because her family cat took it over.., I have to flaunt MY latest designer chair purchase. My soul purpose in presenting this luxury item is to make Abby totally envious - and I can tell by the flame blasting from her nostrils - its working! Yay me!

I present you with Daveman's Universi-Chair!!! Its fashionable, it has its own tote handle so you can move it anywhere anytime - its super light weight - doubles as a magazine holder - and hey - best yet! Have you ever had those situations where even BOTH the bathrooms are occupied and you just cant hold your business any longer?  Huh? Huh? Know what I'm sayin' here? Relief is just a popped lid away! Just make sure to remove the magazines first.

Yes, just when you think it cant possibly get any better.., Daveman;s Universi-Chair can also serve as a pool side seat.  If one of your guests start to drown, just toss em the bucket - IT FLOATS!!! Sure the guest will drown but you'll have fun watching the  chair bob up and down in the water - its really pretty at night, watching it bob in the moonlight as your gasping flailing guest tries to grab onto it, failing miserably.

How much will this Daveman's Universi-Chair cost you?  A thousand dollars you say? Five hundred?  Noooo!  For the low low price of $150 this multi-use chair is yours! (Shipping and handling fees may apply)

**mmph-mmph- urp!**  - Whew! Sorry about that.  That left over burger from last night just wasn't in agreement with me this morning.  Maybe I shoulda hit it with my treasured Dragon Cane first?  NEVER place a live cow on your buns.  And I mean that! The cow doesn't like it, and it just smashes the bun into flat bread. Then there's the digestive problem.

I know what you're thinking.  If I ate it this morning it wouldn't be lunch that was lost.  You're deduction / reasoning processes are severely flawed. It was yesterdays lunch, and therefore still lunch! Don't make me dig through the archived fact file folders to prove it.  I keep those in India in a menagerie of catacombs. I just don't feel like the hassle.

Its way way way way late to give this movie review but its better to be late than never - yeah - "tell it to da hand, I heard that!!"  INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - or something to that effect. Back when i watched it when it was first released or on the first Sunday after its release ($4 seats buddy!)- I enjoyed the movie despite really bad back pain. Had to stand and sit, stand and sit throughout the showing.

I almost missed seeing it!!!  It was a good thing I left early - cause the police were backing up traffic doing spot checks.  When it was my turn to be interrogated, I asked the officer to make my Spot Check out for $15 cause I figured I could use the extra cash for snacks at the theater.

I was really surprised to hear a familiar voice and see a familiar face under that cop hat. "Soooo - Arkansas Dave, we meet again, he spoke with a really screwed up Germanish like accent. "You thought you could just walk way with the famed Dragon Cane of yours, eh?  No. I have tracked you down and I will have your Dragon Cane, now."

"Oh - Its Hans Groobenblabba, my arch nemesis," I surled."Oh look! Cabbage! " - to which Hans wheeled around rather excitedly looking while I gunned the engine in my trust Daveman Mobile. Gotta love those Neo Nazi's they fall for anything. They ain't even real Germans. Germans are too smart for that trick. With them you have to say something like, "Is that Hans, making out with your sister over THERE!?"  - that usually does the trick.

Okay I had to dodge a few cannon balls and run a half track off the road after changing cars in mid ride with a tank to a horse and back to my car again - beat the hell out of a few Neo Nazi's with my Dragon Cane, but I made it to the theater with a few minutes to spare.

I gotta tell you - Harrison Ford even though he's aged would appear to have more kick in him than ever before. To me it seemed the action shots and special effects have completely outdone anything he's previously done on any of the Indiana Jones films - or ANY - films he's done for that matter!  Yeah - Indiana Jones is back, feistier and meaner and rougher and tougher than ever before - and an old flame of his joined in on the fray. All in all I'd give this film really high Marks.  Get it? The German currency of Marks?  Bah - well anyway forget Nazi's in this film. It just isn't happening.  Well, maybe in part but not enough to mention.  Yeah AND keep a sharp eye out for little links to past Indiana Jones films. Subtle little nuances like that really help make this film a bit more interesting.

Okay so thats my review.  GO SEE IT!  YOU'LL LOVE IT!!!!