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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Posted at 04:51 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
TRBS, RBS and RFF - A Serious Problem
Are you laxipated? Chortling in yer sleep keepin' you up at night? Is you sufferin' from restless brain syndrome? Of course you is! And don't argue with me - I knowed all about restless brain syndrome. It laxipates ya, and makes ya chortle in yer sleep. No wonder you git up from the hay sack all tired and wondering where the heck fire ya are. Yer sleepin' in somebody elses house, because you don't sleep in no hay sack!
Restless Brain Syndrome will do that to ya. Why? Cause yer brain done went stupid from all that laxipation and night chortlin' and ya just don't git a good nights sleep. "But, Daveman, is it a serious condition?" Yew betcha its a serious condition if its done went tronic. There's nuthin worse that Tronic Restles Brain Syndrome! Okay, there is, but for the duration of this here blog entry there isnt.
One of the other effects of TRBS is Rapid Fire Flatulence (RFF). For instance; when my daughter was around 14 (give or take a couple years) we went to Walmart to git her school surplies. Suddenly the RFF began. Like a steady stream of fire from a semi-automatic weapon, the flatulence let loose uncontrollably. My poor daughter was horrified! She ran for the next isle pretending not to know me. I was paralyzed - as massive wave after wave of gas permeated the air - nay! saturated the air!
After whut seemed an eternity, it stopped. I quickly exited the containment isle before anyone could put two and two together and ID me as the terrorist who gassed Isle 14! There was daughter! I walked to her slowly - her eyes widened in fear. I could tell she was looking for a fast exit - but I reassured her the moment had past. "Come to daddy sweet heart. Yer safe now. The war is over. We can continue shopping for yer school stuff now."
Imagine how the child felt when she actually trusted me, walked within reaching distance and it started all over again. Daughter ran for her life screaming, "I'm an orphan and I don't know that man!" - Well - she was screaming it in her head, I'm sure of that.
Yes - TRBS can erupt in many differnt ways. See yer doctor about it today. Don't wait until you are in Isle 14 and have your face plastered on the international news bureaus as a suspected toxic gas bombing suspect. Its too hard to explain TRBS and the cops arent happy when they have to don gas masks just to apprehend ya
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THE SECRET: As per last entry - I am proud of you all! You kept the secret (highlighted in blue - last entry). You knew what was the secret, and you didn't spill your guts! Be proud of yourselves. I am confident I could trust you with secrets in the future. Mainly because I dont think half of you even understood what the heck I was talkin' about anyway.
RUN! Someone out there just had RFF! Run Forrest, Runnnnnn!!!! |
Posted at 08:36 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Listen - Can You Keep A Secret?
Some people just can not keep a secret even if their life depended on it. Seriously. SO here I am with a challenge to you, the reader. Can you keep a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Moo-oove closer.., let me whisper in your ear.
Are you ready? Now, remember.., you can not tell a soul this secret. Its not rocket science here people. Its just a matter of keeping your mouth closed on the matter. Zip it, lock it, gone. Yeah, yeah, I know there's not much fun in keeping a secret and it denies certain people their inalienable right to gossip.., but the true character of a human being is trust! And thus.., I am trusting you to prove you can be trusted.
What is the secret - You tell me! But no one else. Thats the rule. You can tell me what the secret is - but no one else. This is not a trick. Or is it? So - do you know the secret? First one who gets it right wins! The prize? The pride of knowing. Knowing you were the first to get it right. Money cant even buy that, nooo way.... AND NO! You cant trade it in for cash! HAH! You thought to sneak that one through eh? :-)
[Not one of my better posts but thats okay - this is nothing new]
Posted at 10:44 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Monday, June 25, 2007
A scant few weeks ago, two birds built their love nest on the Penthouse floor overlooking our scenic property. One thing led to another and they produced two lovely children - Lenny and Squiggy.
I shared in the care taking process of Lenny and Squiggy by making sure that I didn't allow the porch light to be on for very long at a time at night. One slip up there and they babies would have been cooked geeses! I thought about feeding them worms but didn't like the idea of putting worms in my mouth to do that, SO I left that task to their parents. I really don't think the job description as Mr. Nanny, (in this case) included feeding the youngins anyway.
I hardly realized how big they were getting till this morning when they were gone! Fearing the worst (with many cats in the yard) I looked for signs of feathers and found non. Thankfully before I pointed accusing fingers at the cats and going all Bushinator..., I saw the little ones, flittering from tree to tree! Their parents enrolled them in Flight School! WOW! Tears welled up as I watched my godchildren actually setting out on their own. It was deeply moving.
**puts on John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" cd**
Excuse me now.., I have to go and wipe the..., ahem.., smoke from of my eyes. Anyone got a sponge? or a mop? I can borrow?
Posted at 09:49 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Mystery Mounds On Another Planet
 An acquaintance and myself went to check out the mystery mounds of Lake Rustolia on planet Davemania. Since there was just the two of us, I lost the coin toss and manned the camera to bring you this spectacular view.
About a thousand years ago, aliens built this place as an Astrometrics Center for the ancient Davemanian society. This is how my race of beings found your primitive planet, Earth, though the ancient archives.
Actually its just a landscape I created and popped someone I know in the thing. There! Ya happy!? I got lazy and didn't feel like writing anything today, but I did think this image worth slapping up for you to gander at. I just wanted to clear that up for ya. The Big Giant Head would not want me revealing our true.. I mean..., to think of a planet called Davemainia actually exists - HAH! It is to laugh for at, yes!?
Posted at 07:03 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
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