Yes its true! You can earn your BS degree in anything your hearts desires at Daveman University! And you can earn your BS in less than a year for far less than you would imagine.

 

Would you like a BS in Engineering? Science? Rithmatick? Thinkology? Noooo problem!!  I am FULLY qualified to teach you all you need to know to obtain your BS.   In fact I am a MASTER BS-er!  Ask anyone.  Well.., actually a few people have said that I'm full of BS..., which is just as good as.  Know what I mean?

 

Just calculate half the price of what you'd pay some lowly college to obtain your BS, and I'll be glad to take that money for your tuition.  Its just over burdening your purse, wallet and bank account anyway.  Trust me, it is.  You too can be a Master BSer of engineering, science, rithmatick , reeding, riting and or even thinkology in less than one year!

 

Anyway.., I wanted to inform the world that I have invented the world's first TIME MACHINE!!  Madness you say?  Oh ye of little believability! Read the irrefutable evidence and weep.

 

I have transformed an ordinary house variety toilet into a valid time machine.  Its only limitation is that it can only take you into the future not the past.  Although I do have a theory about that - but lets address my current topic of thought, shall we? We shall! Forth with!

 

Obviously I can not divulge the specifics of electronics and various components used in the creation of this marvelous Time Travel Toilet, but I can tell you how it works.  As you know or rather as we typically think of time, time moves foreward.., unless of course you have a busted watch or live south of the equator.

 

The victim - errrr - I mean, volunteer has to be nekkit before he seats his or herself on the Time Machine (which I had dubbed, "Transport Bucket 1". The reason for this is clear. Only biological mass can be transported using this device.  Haven't you ever seen any of the Terminator trilogies?  I rest my case, toilet face.  Hahahaa - I made a punny!  You see.., the toilet face and the toilet time transp... eh.., skip it.  Tough crowd.

 

Okay - after the volunteer has seated his or her self, said volunteer has to put on this specially wired cap (the prototype uses a stainless steel straining colander with electrodes attached). And says a prayer - he or she may need it if something goes horribly wrong.

 

While the volunteer is seated and capped (yes there is a seat belt) the Transport Bucket 1, is then hoisted onto the back of a specially designed flat bed truck and bolted down.  I predetermine how far into the future I want  the subject to go and yell the time to the driver of the truck.  The volunteer is warned to brace up and hang on.

 

In this case - I yell something safe, something verifiable.. "TWENTY MINUTES, BUBBA!".  Bubba (our driver) then drives the Transport Bucket 1 and Time Traveler down the road until 20 minutes have expired.  Bubba then radios back to me the verified time.  From my perspective, the time traveler has left. But true enough, twenty minutes later I get verification that the subject has been indeed, transported to the future BY EXACTLY TWENTY MINUTES!

 

Think of the implications! Okay, there is one slight drawback.  By this means of time travel, one can only go as far as his or her lifetime.  SO I got a few bugs to work out, but as you see - it does work. Never doubt my genius! or me either.

Well.., actually I did have the words but for some reason they don't fall into place or fall in the wrong place when I compose some of my blog entries.  The last one for example - if you look through it real quick, you'll see about three dark RED lettered words.  The first one "the" was misplaced and not missing at all.  The second word, "sit" which was to complete the word "babysit" was gone! Poof!  And the third word "them" was vanished in the haze as well.

 

I'm not sure what happens - I do try and proof read these things before I press the [publish] button. Often its AFTER I publish an entry that I catch these things - pull it back up and edit - and still miss words and misspelled words.  The spell checker is only good up to a point. It doesn't catch context and distinguish between certain words like bear and bare.

 

Missing words can often change the entire meaning of a sentence.  One time in a forum, I had intended to to say.., "I do not hate black people." - of all the words that I could have somehow left out - which do you think came up missing?  The word "not"!  Do you even want to guess how many people jumped all over me on that one!  No amount of explanation would settle these people.  From their paranoid perspective, I guess it appeared I was simply trying to cover my butt.  Honesty does not always pay. Neither do honest mistakes.

 

Some of the worst misspelled words.  How many have you had? And again - the spell checker cant get em all.  The word "shirt" for example.  Accidentally leave one letter out and what do you get?  The sentence..., "I found the shirt on the kitchen table", has a whole new meaning when you leave out the letter "R" from "shirt"!

 

SO - for future reference - if something falls out of place - it will be that funky thing going on in me brain - as illustrated above.  If something comes off sounding racist, you know (or should know) thats not the case.  I think all of us have some level of racism if you use that stupid "politically correct" line of BS (bull scrapings).., but you know what I mean.  Just because I don't like one black person, does not mean I do not like all black people.  You'd be surprised how many will warp that one around to racism, and its insane.

 

Anyway - its all in the words we use. Isn't it? How we use them, misuse them, and somehow let a few fall through the cracks that can make or break what you are trying to relay to the readerer type person.  I will not be surprised to find a truck load of mistakes with this entry when I hit publish .  If you see a possible missing word - just infer one, or ignore it.

 

Where da lub, peoples, where da lub?

        It was 1965 - that I had my first experience at a walk-in theater.  A gas station  offered two free movie tickets at the local Graco Theater for every fill-up!  So Dad filled er up..., and thought I should have my first movie going experience other than ye olde Drive-In.

        It was the Saturday matinée, and my big brother was to basically baby sit and from my perspective, protect me.  "The Three Worlds of Gulliver".  And I would have enjoyed it except my big brother's school chums were seated behind us and decided to use me for their entertainment rather than watch the freaking movie. They were loud, obnoxious and obviously not there for the movie.

        From dropping popcorn down the back of me shirt, to kicking the back of my seat and fake spitting on the back of my hair (at least I think it was fake spitting).. all the way to pulling my hair and anything else diabolical they could think of, they would not stop throughout the whole movie. My attempts to get big brother to stop them were less than futile. "Brother! Those creeps are kicking my seat and pulling my hair!" to which he replied, "Shut up and watch the movie".

 

        Yes, it was a traumatic experience for a boy of seven years old, but what could I do against eleven year olds!? It was not David and Goliath, it was David verses the world!  That is, if the world consisted of four idiot eleven year old school kids. And for that moment in time, it did.

        The usher walked down the isle and for some reason did not notice these hooligans having a private trash-n-torment party at my expense.  "Sir, can you make these kids stop".  The usher looked at me and then to the kids, sharing a knowing wink with them.., and what did he say? "Shut up kid and watch the movie" - addressing ME! The victim!  I expect this was a defining chapter in my life, one that taught me, butt-heads, ruled the world, and the good guy gets sat on by those butts. Look what happened to Gulliver for crying out loud! A double tragedy was taking place.

 

        I tried to be like those creepy kids for a time after that, but the short lived attempt just didn't work out as well for me as it did for them.  I was a pretender. I wasn't a bad kid, and pretending to be always backfired. Swearing off bad-guy status, I went on through life examining the world in which I lived.  Thats not to suggest I was a perfect angel, mind you, just not the extreme bully type. (I'm lying! I've always sweet and innocent - still am)

        To half quote a favorite passage from the Bible, "All is vanity".  Seemingly all we do is surmountable to vanity. We live, we work, we die.  A vain effort. We cant take anything with us when we eventually move to the small cramped underground apartment with a drab stone yard ornament - except, maybe.., just maybe.., we can take some level of dignity with us when we go. We takes what we can get, we gives what we cans, and then its the final curtain call.  I don't know about you - but when I take that last bow on this stage we call, life, I want to go out not with a bang, not with a whimper - but with a smile, a salute and ... some level of dignity.

In the 70s the Graco Theater stood empty, aging, a testimony to yesterday with ghosted memories for many I presume. My memories of that place.., not so good in one respect, but still, it was a moment in a chapter of my existence. About 35 years ago, the Graco Theater had been torn down, and over its grave now stands a community center for the elderly - and I think that sucker has my name on it! waiting for the day. It can just keep waiting as far as I am concerned. Muahahaaha- Muahahaha.., cough-cough-wheeeeze- Ahem.

I'm feeling too lazy to write anything at the moment. Other than what you see here. Haven't had any medication for my back, but wow! for some reason I feel like I popped a couple of those pain pills. More on the sleepy side than on the high side. Its kind of hard to drag up the humor - so I'm not even going to try.

 

On the other hand, I'm not going to go all boo-hooey here either. Why? What would be the point? There has to be a point, some level of motivation and I have nothing to get all gushy over. Not yet anyhow. **waits five minutes**  Nope - it's not happening for me. Not yet.  Its nice to see you here again, though. Okay, thats just nuts.  I don't actually see YOU per say, I'm just anticipating your arrival - and be ye here or not - I really wont be able to see YOU - but more like the evidence of your being here - provided - you leave a comment or tag or something.

 

Okay - thats enough of my vacant rambling. I'm going to watch Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis, now.  C ya later.  And if you really are here - say Hi! And feel free to say something more than a simple salutation, if you wish. Its the neighborly thang ta do.  Ciao