BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: (2003-2008 RIP)

        Just one last season then Battlestar Gallactica (2000) is shark chum, finished, kaput, finito, done, no more, el-Guapo terminated.  The writers and staff feel that the storyline is running swiftly to an end, after all, they are on a journey for mythical Earth, now aren't they.  But we have this promise sealed in granite - the show will go out with a bang.  Its a great show, but to me its still not THE Battlestar Galactica.

        There's just too much realism involved and the original Series was a kind of an escapism from the heavy emotions of war, lies, cheating and backstabbing.  Okay the original had war, lies, cheating and backstabbing but it was not "reality" intense.  Battlestar Galactica 2000, is intense, very dramatic and goes into territory that would blush a Daggit.   With needless sexual scenes, children cant watch it as a family unite like a Disney film - and really do we need all the frack to actually mean our Earth "F" word?  The original just kind of left it up to your imagination.  This contemporary version however, leaves no room for doubt.  In short, the contemporary B.G. is for grown people, certainly not for children.  Read the complete rundown from the original to the present - here.  The evolution of B.G. is quite interesting, actually.

 

        Scuttlebutt has it that the cult classic 1984 movie, Night of the Comet, may have a sequel, with Kelly Maroni (the cute little cheerleader - now a fully grown woooman) as producer.., or at least co-producer.  If the rumors are true, the original trio, Kelli Maroni, Catherine Mary Steward and Robert Beltran (of, Star Trek Voyager, fame) are to reprise their roles in this sequel.  It would be interesting to see what they do with the story, accounting for the last 23 years.  Obviously they cant pick it up the day after - LOL - way too many wrinkles with that idea <nudge-nudge>.

 

        Just when you thought it safe to put away your funky red pajamas.., rumor has it that the beloved long defunct TV series, "The Greatest American Hero" may very well return as a big screen theatrical release!

        There is no official word on when it will go into production, who will star in film.  Call me a purist, but I cant think of anyone who could fit the standard laid out by William Katt.  But alas, they want a 20 something year old to play the part of, Ralph Hinkley - the school teacher who aliens select to wear a super suit that works just for him - to battle the world of evil.

        There is no guarantee a man will be used to fill the role.  At the series end, they ran a final episode whereby Ralph Hinkley's identity, was exposed to the world, he got the big head and wouldnt you know it - this show boat attitude of Ralph's costs him the suit. The little green guys did give Ralph one last task; find someone to fill the suit.  Wouldnt you know - A woman! How politcally correct! This particular episode was intended as a pilot for "The Greatest American Heroine" and thats as far as it got. Poof!

        The Greatest American Hero ran from 1981 to 1983 with just 3 seasons under its belt. William Katt's gruff FBI Sidekick was played by non other than, Robert Culp.  The love interest, Ralph's fiancé, Connie Sellecca, as Lawyer Pam Davidson

 

        Sliders, the TV series which ran 5 seasons (May 1995 - Feb. 2000) is also rumored to be making a big screen comeback.  And yes, the full original cast (with the exception of, John Rhys-Davies) is anticipated to resume their roles

        The intro to the show (narration by Jerry O'Connell) pretty much sums up the show's entire premise; "What if you could travel to parallel worlds? The same year, the same Earth, only different dimension. A world where the Russians rule America, or where your dreams of becoming superstar came true, or where San Francisco was a maximum security prison. My friends and I found the gateway. Now the only problem is...finding a way back home".

        I could get into the politics of the show's demise, but it would amount to one man's angst - so lets not go there.  One thing for certain - Jerry O'Connell was the heart of Sliders. That being the case, Cleavant "Crying Man" Derricks, was the soul.  For the record - Sliders seasons 1 & 2 (combined in one box set) and season 3 are sitting on store shelves now.

 

- Bruce Campbell fans! The king of B-comedy / horror films is releasing a new comedy horror film entitled, "My Name is Bruce" - projected release date is sometime in late 2007 to early 2008.

- Bruce, portrays himself in a fictional tale whereby a group of people who seen him in "the Evil Dead" and "Army of Darkness" as Ashley J. "ash" Williams, and believe HE can save them from a hoard of demons that have overrun their town.

- In one scene, Bruce is seen dragged away insisting that he's just an actor, and.., "My name is Bruce!"

FYI - Bruce co-stars on a new TV series June 28th, 2007.., "Burn Notice" airing on the USA Network. If you didnt already here it - just remember.., you heard it here first. 

 

BRUCE CAMPBELL INTERVIEW: "My Name Is Bruce"

 Expressions: we used them all the time, and seldom do we think out their meaning. We just use them.  Oh you poor lemmings! Yeah I'm guilty too but I prefer to think of my self as a duck.  You may laugh......., NOW.  If you missed that cue, your laugh response is way off.  Even if you didn't find that funny, you don't follow instructions very well.  How did you ever pass your academic studies?

 

"Oh he wants his cake and to eat it too!" - is a lame, over use of mislogic. If its his cake, YES, he's going to eat it. It's HIS cake for crying out loud.  We know what the expression / cliché means, but the actual wording is really way off the mark. Waaaay - off - the - mark.  Imagine sitting down at your own birthday party, you blow out the candles and everyone gets a piece of YOUR cake but you.  So I am wondering what bologna head invented this initial saying?  Thats scary enough - but what about those of us who actually USE that line?  I for one am guilty.  And they say knowledge is about change. So where's my pay off already? I want my change!  And who the heck is this Miss Logic person?

(if you don't get that last bit, just re-read this paragraph - hello!)

 

"Oh he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips".  I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm a bag of chips. Chips are okay, but really I don't give a chip for that expression at all. Its, so - beneath me.  Of course the typical Engrish speaking person understands this as an indicator about an individual's level of vanity and self centeredness.  But I must admit, this one has a bit of snappiness to it. Some level of "Hey, I like that! I'm going to use this expression first opportunity I get" - and then - we do!  WITH NO REGRETS! How far out is that? (sorry John Denver - I meant "far out" in the deepest of respect).

 

"There is no difference between men and women".  Again, we know what this means, but in its literal context, its absolutely ridiculous.  There's a el-mucho grande differences between men and women, from both the physical and psychological standpoint - even doctors and psychologists say so, not to mention my own observances Don't make me drag out my list!  But I digest. Men nor women are inferior to each other - although some women and some men may even argue that point, but lets not even go there.  Again this is just generally speaking.  Some men and some women (pay attention to the word "some" as in "select") act, appear and confirm, some of us human beings are subhuman.  Take my ex-wife, Cujo. Pleeease!  But really, her cousin already did.  and I am serious! She married her own bleeping cousin.  This does nothing to break the stereotype of we Arkansans, Texans and fans of, Deliverance.  Enough already.

 

"Daveman is so cool, he rocks!". Actually I see nothing wrong with this expression except that people have not used it enough.  Its pretty sad fact actually. With this expression and destined future cliché use, there is no appropriate or inappropriate time or place to use it.  Its a Uni-Occasion Expression (UOE). Use it at weddings, funerals, parties, just anywhere.  And its non-racist, non sexist, non anything!  Already you can see the unifying power behind its use!  So feel free to use this any - time - you - darn - well - please.

 

"Daveman Sucks".  Unlike the last one, this expression is used by losers,  the very people who lack intelligence, refinement and are otherwise short themselves of social savoir fare.., and yes I can use "savoir fare" because I read it in a dictionary. It wasn't an American word, but thats quite okay. I would dare say - people who have and will use this expression, were the models for the casting of Deliverance. Not that I have anything against banjo-picking inbreds..., ooooh-kaaaay..., lets end this thing before I dig another grave for myself.  I could easily erase that "banjo" reference, but for some reason I cant bring myself to do it.

Ah! I see you have come-ed to seeing me again, yes? Yes you have. You jus dont not know when visiting is be troubling enough, no? But come, have a seating - just any place you see where to sit, you may be helping yourself - but not on the sofa. Whoops too late!  My dog, he pee-ed on the sofa, and I am feeling so bad for you.  Here is a towel to be wiping your hiney.

 

So tell me, how have you been this fine day?  Oh? Sorry to here about your sitting in doging pee.  But you know, you should be more careful of who you have been to visit, no? Yes, that is right.  I have not seened the new Pirlats of the Carrob Beans yet, but I unnerstan from Howard that it is a stinking good movie what is great.  Five hundred hours long I think.

 

Which one of you made with the pooping smell? Have your momma not teach-ed you manners? It is polite in my homeland from which I am from, to say, "Excuse me, I have made a bad poop wind". That way your host knows who did the pooping smell and no one else is thrown from the house.  Since no one has done the admitting to it, you must all go.

 

I am just kidding of course.  You must all go but me!  Go.  I have to wash my sofa seat.  Herb! I have seen-ed you found my refridgeringator - but is okay.  That chicken leg is two weeks old and was beink thrown away today anyways. I am not not having to do that now, I thank you.

 

It was so much fun  for you all to be visiting to see me again. Really.  It has.  You are very fun people. Please put dollars in bucket by door on your way out, I thank you.  U-S-currency only this time.  Before, on one visit, one of you put in Canadium money.  I heered that the Canadiums have-ed put fancy electrionic listening device in their moneys.  We shoot spies in my country.  Bye, bye.

 

***pulls out pea-shooter and nails everyone with pin point accuracy***

Come again! I miss-ed you all!