Herb and Friends spill their guts... and you have to clean it up!
They had the power to bring change... too bad it was just for a buck-fourty-nine
MY WISH LIST
Yes, you can buy my silence or just get me something because you've enjoyed my blog content and feel guilty for reading it for free. You can even buy me something if you hate my blog - your punishment in this way is more than I can stand. Or, you can just look through and wish along with me.
Expressions: we used them all the time, and seldom do we think out their meaning. We just use them. Oh you poor lemmings! Yeah I'm guilty too but I prefer to think of my self as a duck. You may laugh......., NOW. If you missed that cue, your laugh response is way off. Even if you didn't find that funny, you don't follow instructions very well. How did you ever pass your academic studies?
"Oh he wants his cake and to eat it too!" - is a lame, over use of mislogic. If its his cake, YES, he's going to eat it. It's HIS cake for crying out loud. We know what the expression / cliché means, but the actual wording is really way off the mark. Waaaay - off - the - mark. Imagine sitting down at your own birthday party, you blow out the candles and everyone gets a piece of YOUR cake but you. So I am wondering what bologna head invented this initial saying? Thats scary enough - but what about those of us who actually USE that line? I for one am guilty. And they say knowledge is about change. So where's my pay off already? I want my change! And who the heck is this Miss Logic person?
(if you don't get that last bit, just re-read this paragraph - hello!)
"Oh he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips". I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm a bag of chips. Chips are okay, but really I don't give a chip for that expression at all. Its, so - beneath me. Of course the typical Engrish speaking person understands this as an indicator about an individual's level of vanity and self centeredness. But I must admit, this one has a bit of snappiness to it. Some level of "Hey, I like that! I'm going to use this expression first opportunity I get" - and then - we do! WITH NO REGRETS! How far out is that? (sorry John Denver - I meant "far out" in the deepest of respect).
"There is no difference between men and women". Again, we know what this means, but in its literal context, its absolutely ridiculous. There's a el-mucho grande differences between men and women, from both the physical and psychological standpoint - even doctors and psychologists say so, not to mention my own observances Don't make me drag out my list! But I digest. Men nor women are inferior to each other - although some women and some men may even argue that point, but lets not even go there. Again this is just generally speaking. Some men and some women (pay attention to the word "some" as in "select") act, appear and confirm, some of us human beings are subhuman. Take my ex-wife, Cujo. Pleeease! But really, her cousin already did. and I am serious! She married her own bleeping cousin. This does nothing to break the stereotype of we Arkansans, Texans and fans of, Deliverance. Enough already.
"Daveman is so cool, he rocks!". Actually I see nothing wrong with this expression except that people have not used it enough. Its pretty sad fact actually. With this expression and destined future cliché use, there is no appropriate or inappropriate time or place to use it. Its a Uni-Occasion Expression (UOE). Use it at weddings, funerals, parties, just anywhere. And its non-racist, non sexist, non anything! Already you can see the unifying power behind its use! So feel free to use this any - time - you - darn - well - please.
"Daveman Sucks". Unlike the last one, this expression is used by losers, the very people who lack intelligence, refinement and are otherwise short themselves of social savoir fare.., and yes I can use "savoir fare" because I read it in a dictionary. It wasn't an American word, but thats quite okay. I would dare say - people who have and will use this expression, were the models for the casting of Deliverance. Not that I have anything against banjo-picking inbreds..., ooooh-kaaaay..., lets end this thing before I dig another grave for myself. I could easily erase that "banjo" reference, but for some reason I cant bring myself to do it.
Ah! I see you have come-ed to seeing me again, yes? Yes you have. You jus dont not know when visiting is be troubling enough, no? But come, have a seating - just any place you see where to sit, you may be helping yourself - but not on the sofa. Whoops too late! My dog, he pee-ed on the sofa, and I am feeling so bad for you. Here is a towel to be wiping your hiney.
So tell me, how have you been this fine day? Oh? Sorry to here about your sitting in doging pee. But you know, you should be more careful of who you have been to visit, no? Yes, that is right. I have not seened the new Pirlats of the Carrob Beans yet, but I unnerstan from Howard that it is a stinking good movie what is great. Five hundred hours long I think.
Which one of you made with the pooping smell? Have your momma not teach-ed you manners? It is polite in my homeland from which I am from, to say, "Excuse me, I have made a bad poop wind". That way your host knows who did the pooping smell and no one else is thrown from the house. Since no one has done the admitting to it, you must all go.
I am just kidding of course. You must all go but me! Go. I have to wash my sofa seat. Herb! I have seen-ed you found my refridgeringator - but is okay. That chicken leg is two weeks old and was beink thrown away today anyways. I am not not having to do that now, I thank you.
It was so much fun for you all to be visiting to see me again. Really. It has. You are very fun people. Please put dollars in bucket by door on your way out, I thank you. U-S-currency only this time. Before, on one visit, one of you put in Canadium money. I heered that the Canadiums have-ed put fancy electrionic listening device in their moneys. We shoot spies in my country. Bye, bye.
***pulls out pea-shooter and nails everyone with pin point accuracy***
Spinach Is Good for You - But its such a hard language to learn
On a more serious note;
Daughter has been having problems with her pregnancy; excessive bleeding. A suspected tear of the placenta from the uterine wall.., and the doctor says "Nothing to worry about" after giving this diagnosis. I am no expert here, but I would think the bleeding is sign #1 for trouble. She goes in for a battery tests today in Little Rock.., and I'm on pins and needles here. I seriously wonder if some of these doctors got their degrees by sending in proof of purchase seals from boxes of Cocoa Puffs cereal.
The baby seems to be developing well, has a strong heart beat and is a little larger than most along this time line in her pregnancy. Due in October he may be a whopper..., hold the cheese. Yes, I'm going be grandpa to a second little bouncing baby boy. All this time I just knew the baby was going to be a girl.., and look what happened. If there is a next time, I'll use reverse psychology and declare the baby to be a boy! If that plan works, I'll write a book and make a fortune on baby prognostication. But really, it doesn't matter if boy or girl, just that the kiddo be healthy and in tact.
I envision ultimately, two screaming voices and the pitter patter of mischievous little feet. Gotta love it! Grandson #1 has no opinion on his upcoming sibling just yet. All the little guy has on his mind at this point is Punge Bob (sponge bob), playing outside and flashing his baby blues at women. I love it when the little snot says on the phone.., "I love you Paw-Paw". Occasionally he'll say Gam-Paw, but either one is cool by me.
Prayers, well wishes and or good thoughts are requested for my daughter and the baby. As I said in a way earlier blog entry - even if you don't believe in prayer - try and humor me.
Johnny Depp my eye. Who needs the scurvy land lubber. I felt the other header was over the top.., way too flamboyant. I can say that word. I read it in a dictionary once. Honest! Occasionally I like to use $5 words.
My ideas for a new header were running thin, so I opted for the popularity of the day and went with something that reminds me of a current trend word.., "drama". I can use that word too, because lately "drama" has infested my life like a flea ladened dog.
So I clipped, pasted, filtered, processed, addressed, smoothed, burned, dodged and filtered some more to get the effect. I'm still not happy with it but it will do till I figure something else out.
YESTERDAY: How many of you remember a 1967 short lived TV Sitcom called " Its About Time ". The theme song started out like.., "Its about time, its about space, about people in the strangest place". Two astronauts break the time barrier in their space capsule and land in prehistoric times among a tribe of Cavemen. Later in the series these two Astronauts bring the primitives back to 20th century Earth and - it still didn't help the ratings. LOL. It was a little funny as I recall.., but thats about all I recall.
THE PRESENT: Have you seen the hilarious Geico Insurance, Cavemen commercials? One of many is embedded below for those who haven't. Good news! These characters will have their own TV series this Fall and I can hardly wait! My guess is (unless they have lousy writers), it will be a break loose hit.
CLOSING THOUGHTS: Now up front, I dont believe in evolution, but in regard to the upcoming "Cavemen" show, I'm wondering how many of my extreme over the top bretheren are going to declare this an abomination designed to confuse the masses. On the other end of that spectrum, I wonder if any over the top overt evolutionists will declare the show as belittling to science. In todays world, you just never know. Let me just conclude with this sentement before any of these hypothetical situations get unleashed; "Its a fictional COMEDY show" - deal with it.
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