Monday, February 02, 2009
Burpin Babies - revisited
BLAST FROM THE PAST - my April 4, 2005 blog entry
I seem to have lost the old magic - that thing what made me tick. Its mind blowing (at least for me) to look back at my ancient writings and look at the now and recent stuff.
| "Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped."|
I think Sam and I are kindred parrots, in our reasonings. In fact I know the very woman he speaks of! The poor woman no sooner than she got home from the hospital with one bundle of joy - she was loaded for bear and back in the game emediately. I can stop her! All I got to do is resort to plan (A) and keep them (hubby & wife) seperate. Plan (B) the backup plan.., lets just say her husband could have gainful employment in the ancient Middle East during biblical times as a Eunic.
I'm not against people having large families... nay. Early America owes itself to large families. I just think the woman needs a break in between harvests. But then again, if she can deal with and likes that program of being a, one woman baby manufatcuring plant - I'll not stand in the way of her ambitions. Unless of course I was married to her, and then I'd have plenty to say..., "Look dah-lin.., if you can work extra jobs while birthing all them kids, and raise everyone of them yourself at the same time, have all you like."
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Yourin' Trooley - Daveman
TODAY's SAFTEY TIP: Wear a glove, gents!
Posted at 01:03 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Friday, January 30, 2009
Peas At Last! Peas At Last!
One Doctor, P.E. Mehoff, studied peas for years and discovered most every kind of pea is good for you and also discovered goober peas (aka peanuts) float in the water. He caused a stir when when his assistant yelled to him, "But sir! You cant take a pea in the pool!" The public swimming pool came alive with everyone thrashing to get out of the water and a concerned life guard yelling through the mega-phone, "Get out of the pool! For God's sake people evacuate the pool!". There was a small fine to be paid and lots of explaining to do.
Dr. Martin Luther King was quite fond of peas as a staple food. He even worked it into a famous speech, declaring, Peas at last! Peas at Last! but some dirty hippies misconstrued the whole thing into what most people think he said today. The power of suggestion is a healthy nut for sure.
And just when you start to doubt history now..., I cite that ex-beatle John Lennen wrote a song about peas too - "Give Peas a Chance". Yeah I heard you groan on that one but its true! How do you know? BECAUSE I SAID SO and thats good enough darn it! Don't pea me off! There are many historic changes such as these. Why? A conspiracy from PEA HATERS! Thats right! There are people who hate peas so much they manipulate history to achieve their nefarious activities. Its secret society known as "Hull and Scones", which I am guessing they hate scones too. President Bush and President Obama are members of this evil society as well and when they say "Peace" - they are going all out to avoid use of the word "peas".
Ok - I thats all I got to say about that. But I do leave you with this notation; Give peas a chance and you will have peas at last, peas at last! Just don't ever take a pea in the pool. Ok? Nuff said. Good night!
FOOT NOTE: Did you know that peas are not vegetables? They arent. They are just stuff what grows an ya eats. Bet you thought I was gunna say "Peas are actually Legumes" huh? Dont mess around and pea me off now. Just not your heads and you can go home unmolested. ;-)
Posted at 01:42 am - Scribbled out by Daveman
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Saturday, January 24, 2009
My Invisible Cat Fred Died
Its with great sadness my invisible cat, Fred, has passed away. I'm not sure but I think he had a rare genetic disease that attacks invisible cats; Invisibiana Fofanna Botanna Mommaniplubis or something like that. Fred was given to me by my Extraterrestrial friend, bob, who quite frequently inquires about Lady Fri.
Poor Fred apparently has been ill for some time, I just didn't see it coming. But he is at rest now, in his invisible grave and I spared no expense in providing a beautiful invisible tombstone. Too bad you cant see it. The service was attended by just me and bob. bob sang a strange version of Blowing In The Wind with a near perfect Tom Petty impression, dressed as Elvis - Fred liked Elvis. Tom Petty, not so much. He peed on the Tv once when Tom Petty was on some special concert I think.
So now I have to locate Fred's invisible water & food bowls. I purchased them at the Invisible Pet & Pet Supply Store on the INTERNET. Has invisible check out clerks, really unique. Don't bother looking it up, you wont find it. Anyway - when I got the package I could have almost sworn that there was nothing in the box but air till the Customer Care division explained the bowls were invisible and as light as air - they even gave me five invisible bottles of invisible water and 5 boxes of invisible dry cat food - which always replenish themselves.
I know what you're thinking - if they are self replenishing, why the extra bottles of water and boxes of food? Hey, I figure they are losing money and it didn't cost any extra so I am not complaining about it. I may post pictures of Fred as soon I can find them. Assuming I can find them. After all I had to use invisible film. Thank God for digital cameras! I'm glad I purchased the invisible film for my digital camera too, by the way.
Ok - its late and the pain meds are making the room swirl so I am closing this blog entry now. Have a great weekend - and please, if you want to do some kind of homage to my invisible cat Fred in his memory - feel free. I'm sure he would be seeing it from Invisible kitty heaven and smile with the happiness of a happy cat, what is happy. I think.
Posted at 01:18 am - Scribbled out by Daveman
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
In regard to the inaugural ball.., Mrs. Obama's dresses was a dress designer's fengshui nightmare - yet all the fancy pants peoples are applauding it as something remarkable. This was the ugliest dress (the white one) and comparable to Ellen Degenerates nefarious "Swan Dress"! The other ball dress was probably made out of upholstery fabric taken off a couch dating circa 1971.
Obama, our chief in staff couldn't have made a penguin blush if he tried, laugh maybe - glad he's chief of something since he didn't have the test tickles to stop his wife from wearing the burlap and swan fur. And my gawd! The woman walks like a football player! Not that there's anything wrong with that - she's 5'11" tall and could tackle a 400 pound line backer and make him scream for him mawmee. Not that there's anything wrong with that either.
But I gotta tell ya - I like Ms Obama. She's real, down to earth and not some phony bologna person. She no doubt humored all those designers because she felt it was the proper thing to do. She's a lovely lady so dont think I am being hateful and rude here. I'm being honest and stapling things as they appear to me.
Now as for Obama himself - I am still stewing as to how in hell he became president. I'm not even considering the stuff calling into question his status as a naturalized U.S. Citizen - or whatever. Thats for other people to work out. If that were ever proven true we'd have race riots that would make the Rodney King riots look like kids playing in a sandbox., if you were to remove the man.
What I am puzzled about his how INTELLIGENT Americans can dismiss his attendance of a racist church (him calling for equality is a joke & a farce) - "BUT DAVE! You dip! He quit that church!" - Oh? Not at first. He and his family sat under this white hater preacher for a number of years and when his pastor came out publicly instead of keeping his hate of whites behind closed doors, did Obama say anything? Hell no! Not till the press pushed it. Then he made excuses, hem hawed around before he said something roughly like "I do not share the same views". Insincere is the way it come across to me.
Then he quit that church. Right? NO! It toook the press to pressure him, and only when Barak Hussien Obama felt he may lose votes, THATS when he quit. I'm not even sure about that - just the press quit bugging him about it.
Americans went deaf and blind about the whole business, and ignored the matter. I see a president who sat under a preacher who hates whites. Let me say - I don't need to be in public office - if I attend a church where a pastor starts spouting hate of any race people - I would leave in a heart beat. No press, no other person would have to tell me its not an acceptable Christian practice to sit under a pastor who hates people because of color or any other reason.
I listened to Barak Obama's speech. Hey, it was engrossing! He was masterful in what he said and how he said it. He knew how to tickle ears. But I got the feeling he meant something completely different that the way the masses took it. If I am wrong I am wrong - and will acknowledge it as wrong IF and when he proves my suspicions as invalid. I wont even bother listing off what I suspect about this man - but I firmly believe with all the griping about George W. Bush (did some griping myself), Obama when all is said and done, will make Bush look like a complete blessing.
I feel that there will be a great sorrow coming out of this presidency and many innocent people will feel a sting soon enough. I wish I knew how anyone could so easily forget and or ignore Obama's attendance of a church that teaches hate against whites. But then - we all know its not racist to hate white people, its racist to hate anyone but whites. Or at least thats the way it appears to me.
Martin Luther King had a dream. Obama has taken that dream and making it his own variation (version). he hijacked MLK's dream for his own purposes and its not (in my opinion) in line with MLK. Barak, has a gift - he's an eloquent speaker. He did not even have to read his speech from notes. He is highly intelligent - and thats what separates him from more obvious racists in politics like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Jesse & Al, have no class nor the real ability to express would be view points clearly to ALL races. Obama has class and the ability to make you feel important no matter who or what you are. A key to getting what you want is to stroke the ego. And he did some big time stroking. He made people forget his racist ties. Or is there something in there that I completely missed? I will always wonder how people who voted for him chose to ignore this. Maybe someone can explain it to me.
Posted at 09:20 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturated Fats - Your Friend
My computer whoas inexplicably stopped whoa-ing me. But sound problems do abound. I got a new sound card, a great card for the money BUT doesnt do what I thought it would do, and that wont do.
But thanks to my best buddy I'll be getting a new card soon. Im pretty sure I'll be floating on air and tormenting people with my singing once again. What did anyone do to deserve this? Nothing really, I just love to dole it out.
Oh - if one of you were like crazy and stinking filthy rich, you could shut me up by getting me my very own life size Lost in Space B-9 Robot - LoL. I saw this and thought that was pretty cool (click to see info).
With technology the way it is today - a robot like Will Robinson's would be easier to construct for some tech-head. The Claw hands though are not practical at all. Except maybe to pinch someone's butt. One expression left out of the robot's repetoire of words..., "Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Run or I will pinch your Butt"
Isnt it cool for a mere $24,000 you could have your own life size do nothing but spin and make sounds by remote control robot? Sure thang! LoL
Posted at 11:07 am - Scribbled out by Daveman
-Alternate Reality Speak-