Davemania

Friday, January 20, 2006

No Good Deed Ever Goes Unpunished

There was no reason for the taunting. Her name was Candy. She sat on a bench minding her own business. A woman perhaps five foot four inches tall, morbidly obese and just 20 years old. Three people, two twenty year old men and a woman went out of their way to taunt her. "Pig!" - "Hey beached whale!" - "You're going to bust that bench - get off it you cow!"

Sir Daveman, idiot extraordinary, ran to the crying woman's rescue, and chased off the hooligans. I tried to cheer her up with some of my best humor - and it worked. Reinforced her self esteem and had to go to classes, bidding her well wishes as I went. Never at any point did I do anything to make her think this was a romantic spur of the moment rendezvous. I was careful of that.

Later that day on Campus I saw a girl I had my eye on for a whole week! She was every thing I could hope for - or so I hoped. I filled my lungs with air, braced up, put on my best personality (the only one I had) and made my way over. I had her laughing and smiling and her eyes just beamed like crystallite in the sun.

All of the sudden - this Daveman's moment in the sun was dashed in a billion chards as Candy came barreling out of now where (how she could run like that a mystery) and smashed the poor object of my affections into the ground. "STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN YOU BLEEPIN HO!" She screamed like a banshee (actual wording cleaned up quite a bit for the readership).

"Whoa! Candy! I'm not you're man, there never was an, Us!..." my voice trailed as a crowd gathered and dirty looks came ripping through from most of them while others snickered. I could read their minds as Candy stood there crying, looking at me as if we had been long time lovers and I was a lousy scum boyfriend. The object of my affection shot her dirty looks but gave me even dirtier looks. I was suddenly the evil bad boy on campus to be shunned. A user loser.

No amount of explaining would be heard nor accepted from the object of my effection, nor the crowd. So I shifted my focus to Candy and explained that the day I saw her, I was being a friend to her that day I ran those oafs off. I explained how no human being should have been treated like she was treated and my intervention was not a romantic overture of any sort. And of course I thanked her for ruining my life in return and walked off being shunned by virtually everyone. Truly this one good deed of mine returned a curse and not a blessing.

PART TWO - Later - "Another Broken Heart on Campus"

It never seemed to stop. I mean, really!

PS - will report on the doctor visit this afternoon unless they throw me in the hospital or something.

Posted at 08:26 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(3) Pleading Hostages --> -Alternate Reality Speak-

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'm an Unfaithful Cheat - Woe Is Me!

Man I feel guilty. Sure my doctor's a quack and I have low confidence in him. But ya see - I went and scheduled an appointment with another doctor for a second look/opinion on my ailing foot for tomorrow. I feel like a tramp cheating bimbo somehow. Of course we are not talking about gay issues or hetero issues - but it still feels like a matter of cheating somehow. I guess thats still an issue even if it is of a oddball sort.

My usual quack is a nice man and his staff are good down to earthy folks.., almost like relatives. But then I recall when I had my knee problems neither he or his doctor/nurse lady assistant had any real concern and well, thats a long story I don't care to rehash. Somehow even though he is doing more for my foot than he did with my knee, I just ain't sold he knows what he's doing. So I will consult the new doctor tomorrow unt see what he has to say. If he's worse - I'll give up.

And now I see our own Dear Abby has gone away on a mission of mercy and I didn't get a chance to say Goodbye. Oh well. Her cause is a just one, to help her recuperating mother. She needs her more than we do I suppose, and I would have thought less of her had she of snubbed her own maw. (code of the hills says ya don't snub yer maw, unlessin she slept with Clinton)

Anyways I just hope Abby ain't too disappointed when she sees we all (her regular readership) fell apart during her absence and messed up her place while away. Some folks says we are all disfunctional.., but I promise I seen Pops, Herb, Scott, Jerry, Ssprite, Penny and Magoo and others function just fine when throwin' stuff and splatterin' refrigerated goods. I'm still trying to find a Hazard Cleanup crew that will tackle the mess they left when I was absent - not even one whole day!

But hey, they all have enduring qualities. And when I figure out what they are, I'll let you, the reader know. Unless it makes good blackmail material that is. Then I'll milk those cows for all they're worth. Hey - 25 cents goes nowhere I know, but we're talking a total of $2! I can buy a couple of McDonalds Cheeseburgers, man and have change!!!

Will tell yous mugs tomorrow (on Friday) what the new Doctor says if anything different from what old doctor says. Thats all I gotsa say for now. Hasta Lavista

Posted at 04:57 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(3) Pleading Hostages --> -Alternate Reality Speak-

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Nothing Obvious - Knock Wood

Today-ay-ay-ay (echo-echo) I went back to el-quacks and had the Doppler (a glorified ultra sound) run on my foot and leg. The visual inspection part of it yielded no obvious signs of blood clots. However I'm reminded it still has to be looked at in the lab or whatever. I wonder of Igor works there?

And of course they took some more blood to see if my liver has any abnormalities as per last time - blah blah blah - just to be on the safe side. I go back the 30th to see what the results are and all that jazz and hope my foot will be back to normal by then.

Presently the swelling goes down to near normal over the course of the night and swells up some during the course of the day and looks to be an every day occurrence for the last three days. A few minutes ago I for whatever reason darn near passed out. My head went wagga- my guts felt queasy and my good leg was buckling while on my crutches. Luckily the kitchen table chair was handy and I made a mad desperate grab for it.

I'm still feeling queasy and light headed as I write - so I'll go and take a nap and see what that does for it. If I don't wake up - Its been real people. I think I'm kidding about not waking up - even so, ya never know when your number is up. Anyone of us could check out at any time for any number of known and unknown reasons. So let me say - especially of the regulars and semi-regulars.., you peeps are kind of like family and I've always enjoyed the few and or many exchanges we've had over time. It truly has been a delight spending virtual time with you all.

Nighters!

Posted at 01:50 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(8) Pleading Hostages --> -Alternate Reality Speak-

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

A Man's Home Is His Castle. Or is it?

Yurts. AbbyNormal wrote about them. Yurts. What are they? Awe, now ya went and Yurt my feelin's. They originate from ancient nomadic tribes and rather than explain it to you in depth - click me - to read more about them.

Over the yurts have been built with various materials. From sod grass walls to saplings to tent like structures supported by light weight wood strips fastened together in an accordion fashion and covered with modern insulated blankets. You can live in em but you cant make music with them. Go figure.

I have always - well, not always, because always wouldn't be right. After all I never heard of Yurts till about 15 years ago. Well - thats not quite right either because on hind-sight I think I read about them in school books many eons ago but probably didn't pay it much mind till about 15 years ago or so.

So anyways - I almost always thought about building a yurt. Can a man build one all by himself without giving himself a hernia? I hear its been done. Fact is I read about a man who built a log cabin by himself. Even saw the video. It was remarkable. Takes thinking things out in advance though. It really does. Welp - looks like I'm out of luck then. I don't know what I'm going to do or even write about from one moment to the next. I like to make it up as I go along.

Actually I don't like to make it up as I go along. Its what happens in between the action and inaction that I fond most rewarding. What does that mean, you asked??? How should I know. I'm making this up as I go along. Obviously you're memory is impaired. But thats okay. I like mentally challenged people. Birds of a feather ya know. <wink-wink>

Posted at 10:13 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(5) Pleading Hostages --> -Alternate Reality Speak-

Mein Foot Talk

Mein Fut said to his brother Foot, "Foot, are you alright? You no look so good". Foot looked at Fut unt said, "Funny you should say that Fut. I feel puffy all over and achy."

"Maybe you have the foot-flu, Foot", suggested Fut. Foot pondered a moment unt replied, "I don't think so." I tried to go to the foot-doctor but he said "GOUT!" and so I left."

Fut was horrified, "The nerve! Telling you gout after just getting there." - Foot agreed whole heartedly, "But I guess that makes him true to his hypocritic oath." Fut Laughed at Foot, "That joke was just too corny"

The above was written out of complete and utter boredom and lack of anything to blog about at the moment. There was no intent to insult any feet and any resemblance to feet living or dead is pure coincidence. No toenails were ever endangered at any point, as stunt doubles were employed in any given dangerous sequence

Posted at 08:26 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(6) Pleading Hostages --> -Alternate Reality Speak-