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Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Mein Fut said to his brother Foot, "Foot, are you alright? You no look so good". Foot looked at Fut unt said, "Funny you should say that Fut. I feel puffy all over and achy."
"Maybe you have the foot-flu, Foot", suggested Fut. Foot pondered a moment unt replied, "I don't think so." I tried to go to the foot-doctor but he said "GOUT!" and so I left."
Fut was horrified, "The nerve! Telling you gout after just getting there." - Foot agreed whole heartedly, "But I guess that makes him true to his hypocritic oath." Fut Laughed at Foot, "That joke was just too corny"
The above was written out of complete and utter boredom and lack of anything to blog about at the moment. There was no intent to insult any feet and any resemblance to feet living or dead is pure coincidence. No toenails were ever endangered at any point, as stunt doubles were employed in any given dangerous sequence
Posted at 08:26 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Monday, January 16, 2006
Back to The Wizard of Oz Today
And so the doc is impressed with the improvement but advises to keep the foot elevated until completely well. I go in this Wednesday to get some sort of Doppler thang done on my foot to look for blood clots and stuff. Cool or what!?
The Gout test game back negative but have some bad numbers on my Liver and thus I need more lab work - blah blah blah. I'm not sure what that means in the long run but they may have to change my Zocor cholester-oil lowering drug.
I'm hoping this foot nightmare will end by the end of this week. If things keep going as they are - I shall see it come to full fruition! **knock wood**
Thats all folks. Oh and Abby and Penny.., I'm running black market on prison rats now. Only you gotta provide the rope to drag them to your cells from mine. Call me da Rat Man!
Posted at 12:49 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Sunday, January 15, 2006
The sun-traced shadows moved ever so slowly across the cell floor as I watched a cockroach skitter across the zebra'd shadow zone up the wall and out the bars to freedom while I choked back raw emotion and etched another mark on the wall, counting the days as they dwindled by.
A feeble rat infested mat lay in the corner, serving as my bed. A worn out thin sheet was my blanket and part time confident. Lonely cries echoed in the distance from other cell mates. 'How many," I wondered. 'How many others are here? Five? No more than six.'. It was hard to tell because I haven't seen any of the faces associated with these bitter sounds, distorted by long dank hallways.., sounding almost like Humpback Whales at sea. That lonely cascading wailful droning.
I reach down and touch my injured foot. At least the swelling has gone down more. Its almost back to normal. One of the screws dropped in and told me I could see the camp doctor tomorrow If I follow orders and do what I was told. I still haven't forgotten that beating on my last escape attempt. My foot is a reminder of that event.
Ah! What's that I see near my mattress!? A single chard of a Frito's chip!! I scramble over quickly before the rats can spot it and carry it away. Grabbing it I stand on my one good wobbly leg - "You kin beat me all yew like - but yew'll nawt be taken' muh FRITOOOOOES!"
Posted at 06:42 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Saturday, January 14, 2006
A Strange Conversation with my Alter Ego, a fat scotts version of my self
AE: (with Scottish Accent)
Oh! He's a wee kry beh-beh. Krryin oer his witsy bitsy faht futseh. Go eh hed beh-beh. Krry!
SELF:
Oh shut up. My foot hurts when I get up in the mornings. It really, really hurts. At least the swelling is gone down a little more. A little more than yesterday anyways.
AE:
Oh! Sew yerr futseh's swellin' as geun dewn? My Gawd lad! Leuk at et!! Et leuks lek a freakin' rrradish-red rhinu frrum the Surrin-Ghetteh. Ya krry beh-beh. I keud tek the pehn an eet et lek eetin' eh peurter stek Gnyum-gnyum. Wetch meh eet et, laddy. Gyum-gnyum. **smacks his fat lips for emphasis**
SELF:
You are starting to get on my nerves my fat friend. Back off. And I mean back off NOW!
AE: (mocking)
Oh - sew 'yew better bahk off, neow. Aye mean et'. Goo ahed laddy buck. Ya freakin' krry beh-beh. Give et yerr best sheut. Krry, krry, krry. Kry beh-beh.
SELF: *** dave socks self in stomach**
AE:
Whoa! Thaht reeleh hurt laddy buck.. that REELEH HURT!
SELF:
Oh? Whats this? You stinking cry baby. You got a tummy ache? Hmm? Run home and tell mommy about it. Cry baby. You are sooo pethetic. Boo-hoo-hoo. Muahahahaa! - oooh - that did smart didnt it. ***holds stomach**
Posted at 07:37 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
Friday, January 13, 2006
The news is - last night before retiring to bed, I noticed some slight decrease in swelling. This morning I noticed the foot has decreased a little more. Still swollen, no doubt but definitely showing signs of recovery - except for the redness which has not abated one teensy bit. The new antibiotics must be doing the job.
Note To Jerry: "The Nixon Disease" of which I spoke can be explained by my earlier diagnosis of Plebitis and checking Wikipedia ( Click Here).
It was mentioned that I should be checked for diabetes - my last blood check said all was well some few weeks ago and am scheduled for more lab work on the 18th. Of course they drew blood yesterday I assume just to test for gout.., and not sure if they'll test for anything else or not. Seems to me Dr. Quack should have tested for gout last Friday when I was there in the first place, but he didn't.
Well - I gotta go for now. The more I'm off my foot, the quicker it'll get better. I couldn't connect with the ISP this morning to update this when I wanted. We had some storms meander through probably messed up their equipment. Hasta lavista!
Posted at 01:35 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
-Alternate Reality Speak-
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