So you came to visit? ME!!!??? ME!!!??? I appreciate the company and all - I really do. But WHY?

I don't have any vittles on hand (thats food to you city slickers) - but I do have a spare ham bone I was savin' fer the dawg.  Yew can pass it around and gnaw on it some if you'd like. Never let it be said that I is a inhospiti- inhospita..., uhm.. a rude host.

If yer looking fer news - well - not much goin' on around here. Even bob (my extraterrestrial friend) hasn't been around in so many days. But then what do you expect from someone who doesn't even spell his own name in the correct order? Thats what I say.

I been behaving myself. No cops have been bothering me or anything - except for a call from the Nevada State Police asking the whereabouts of some gal named "Ang" - which of course I don't know no such a person *wink-wink-nod-nod*. Had something to do with bein' drunk, disorderly and threatening a waiter at some faincy schmancy restaurant - called Café Bubba's. One of them thar French eloqui.., eloque.., one of them high society places what ya eats a ham sammich fer about $50 each - on toast. That's fer EACH HALF of the toast, not countin' the ham!

For future reference if any of my friends wanna raise a ruckus - dont give my name as a reference at the establishment of yer choice. Its not that I mind covering for yer sorry butts (cause dats what friends do) but they reverse the long distance charges and thats just a mite much.

An Pen - try and refrain from slappin the cops around like they was yer red headed step childern. I dont remember what I told them law folks but I think it had sumpin ta do with being an escapee from thuh institution and I assured them yew was back safely in yer padded room watchin C-Span an workin in yer, Highlights Fer Childern coloring sheets.

Herb - Yew dont EVEN wanna know what I told the cops about yew when they were tryin ta track yew down fer multiple speedin tickets. Had sumpin to do with dead racoons, joggers and the space shuttle is all I remember they said - just caint remember what I said back to cover fer ya. I think Asthma was a part of it - that an Granny's tonic.

Blues Brutha - started an Armadiller Herd somewhere in Texas. I think the plan was ta raise em in place of Buffollow meat. Who knew it was the Texas State bird and a protected species. The Amodiller that is.

Ok - I guess thats about it. Glad ya dropped by ta visit. Just hurry on out before the nurse makes her rounds with the orderlies. They dont like visiters slippin in threw the back winders.

Take care yaw - ya hear? I SAID "TAKE CARE, YAW! - YA HEAR?" Ok - was just making sure. Laterz!!!!