If you heard I was away in Venezuela making deals with Emperor Hugo Chavez - It's SNOT true!  Is not true, rather. Ipso facto, pepto bizmo. The truth is.., erm.., I went to France. Contrary to popular belief, the national language is French, not Arabic - although I think there is some talk about switching to Davemanese but thats still being decided.

What was I doing there in France? I don't know. Last I remember is Bob (my E.T. friend) was visiting after I brought out my pain pills, took a few trips to the moon in his nifty 57 Chevy stylized interstellar space craft. See pictures last entry. Anyway I woke up staring up the skirts of the Awful Tower.  Have you seen that thing? Its just steel girders slapped together in some kind of sick A-Frame - maybe its the letter A in the French Alphabet. And the author had very very bad hand writing. Probably cursive. The French curse a lot ya know. Well.., they talk dirty anyway,

Then I fell asleep again and had a dream that I was writing all this down in my blog. And you were there, and you were there and ..., YOU were there and..., You wasn't there and then there was AbbyNormal wearing that backpack, hair back in a braided pony tail aiming a silencer at me and screaming "SHUT THE HELL UP!" Cause I think she is a afraid I will tell national trade secrets since Presidenté Bush confides a lot in me. No - Not THAT Bush - the other Bush - where they make beans and have a talking dog... yeah .. that Bush.  And Blues Brutha thought I was talking about a burning bush. Although that did happen once - I didnt like that bush and set it on fire and I was doing a lot of talking to that bush. "Die you stinking bush! Stare at me that way will ya? I show you!". It didn't say anything back, but thats ok - I don't get any arguments and certainly no screaming. If that had been a real person - that could have been embarassing. For me. "Yes Officer - I wanted to talk to a burning Bush just like Moses..., my neighbor should have changed his name. So its not really my fault, ya see?"

But thats not going to happen because I am not venturing near this blog to write anything because I don't wanna get sh..., hello? whats this warm running sensation running down my..., oh man!  Escuse me I have to go bathroom now.  My back is still killing me too. Im going back to bed now. After I go bathroom. Of course.