News 4 Ladies & Meet Buddy

Friday, October 12, 2007

LADIES: News! You might want to start going Au Natural for a while. NO! Don't start walking around nekkit. I'm talking about your make up - or at least part of it. It seems quite a bit of lip stick, even the popular brands contain lead, based on recent tests. Click here for the full news article.

Heeeere's Buddy!

Let me introduce, Buddy, who also answers to the names, Cowboy, Buddy Wuddy, Bo Bo and perhaps a half dozen other names. He's a transient, that has been kind of adopted by a select few neighbors, but mainly haunts the place where I abode. Myself and baby brother (who's as big as a house) aka TVI..., pitched in with a local animal group to get poor buddy neutered. It seems the other neighbors while fond of Buddy, were not quite THAT fond of Buddy. He's a Border Collie mix. I can only guess they think a Border Collie is an illegal or something.

Yesterday I took him to have the deed done, and have to pick him up today. The trip down there left a feeling of sending poor Buddy to his execution. The conversation in the car went something like this..,

ME: Sorry dude. This hurts me more than it does you, but hey, this is the price you pay when you keep running after loose females.

HE: Dang! You are a cruel SOB! I cant help it! The ladies are so fine and I'm just providing a service.., ya know. And how is it going to hurt you worse than me? You freak!

ME: Yeah right. You knock up some girl K9s and how are you gunna pay child support, huh? You stupid dog. You don't even have a job to support any kids - heck, you don't even pay rent or utilities as it is. In this day and time, they will take you to court over this stuff.

HE: Oh, smart one - where am I going to get a job huh? Who's going to hire me? I'm a DOG! get with the program.

ME: You missed the point I'm making entirely. No job, and you out there making allot of babies while the poor mommy dogs are stuck with rearing the child dogs all by themselves. Thats just not showing responsibility at all.

HE: Poor mommy dogs? Lets get this right - they are Bitches. Not mommy dogs. Where'd you get your education? in a retard factory?

ME: I have you know my education is... HEY! Who's the one in charge here? You seem to forget who's driving and what your destination point is! If I were in your shoes I'd be doing some begging, MISTER!

HE: Well let me see. If I beg you right now, for mercy and all that, will you take me back home and forget about this whole ugly business at hand?

ME: Nope - your boys are history, dude.

HE: Then I'm not begging for no reason, no way, no how! Uhm..., after this thing is over, I wont be talking funny and have a tendency of wearing cheap red-light district dresses will I?

ME: No.., thats pure idiocy. But you will be walking funny for a while.

HE: Oh thats just great! The guys will be calling me names and insults and stuff. "Look! There's Stumpy!" or "Walking a little limp pawed aren't we?" or "Hey girl, you be lookin' fine" or worse.

ME: Well, well. Looks like we're here Buddy.

HE: Look, maybe we can cut a deal here. I'll leave the bitches alone and stay at home from now on. How's that?

ME: We tried this talk before and you broke your promise. We MUST do this. There are NO options. Got it?

HE: Oh God in heaven! Don't do this to me! I'll be good! I'll be a preacher dog or something, just lets not do this okay? Dude! Look into my eyes.., look deeply into my sad.., puppy eyes....., you are now under my power. You will turn this car around and head home. When we get there you will only remember we went for a short drive. You will forget about the whole snip-snip thing.

ME: Eh.., I don't think so Buddy. The Amazing Kreskin, you are not.

HE: Okay - lets do this, but after its over, I'd hide the scissors and sleep with one eye open at night if I were you, MISTER GELDING!

It should be interesting to see if Buddy now has a greater appreciation for things including my strong sound arguments and justifications for having him fixed. Excuse me now. I have to hide the scissors.

Posted at 10:26 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool


	Ranter October 16, 2007 10:30 PM PDT Awwww he's cute. I wouldn't worry about the scissors, Dogs lack the thumbs to make them work. On the other hand, they do have teeth and they certainly can use those instead. Sleep well!


	J f Z October 14, 2007 01:57 PM PDT No make-up? /looks around for his spare beer goggles/


	AbbyNormal October 13, 2007 11:53 AM PDT AHA! Another reason to skip the warpaint other than my just being too lazy! Buddy is adorable! He's definitely got border collie fur and coloring, but WHAT THE HECK IS THAT FACE?! Good for you for getting him fixed. I think everybody, including Buddy, will be happier for it.


	Angela McCaskill October 12, 2007 07:19 PM PDT I have seen this info on lipsticks,disturbing isn't it! Poor lil man,may his boys rest in peace!


	Gigglesbee October 12, 2007 05:26 PM PDT Good for you, Dave!! That was a really great thing you did for Buddy, and the rest of the neighborhood! I'm sure he'll forgive you...in time...


	pendoodles October 12, 2007 04:30 PM PDT hey Buddy you need to come over and meet Sierra, Rockie & Trinity!!! dont worry even if you werent nutered -all of them is :) i think you can tell that on a daily basis i never wear makeup - only on special occasions & all my makeup is organic - i wear eye/face conceler around my eyes & blush on my cheeks thats made from natural minerals from clay and never any lipstic only bees wax with mint (Burts Bees brand) - my masquera is made from natural minerals and food coloring plus bees wax & almond oil - i get them (4 items total) about once a year if needed and costs me less than $20 total :)


	Judy October 12, 2007 02:08 PM PDT I knew there was a reason I didn't wear makeup.


	Daveman October 12, 2007 01:16 PM PDT Ci, Senior.


	Howard October 12, 2007 01:06 PM PDT They are bitches... Hahahaha!

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