Arg!  People are schtupid sometimes.  Actually, its some people all the time, and the rest of us just once in a sometimes.., except you, my dear readers who NEVER do anything stupid.  (nice save or what?)

I want to buy those half moon packaged Apple Pies - the Blue Bird brand quit specifically - right?  And they like cost a small fortune in most stores unless you buy the Little Debbie brand.  Blue Bird brand is 90¢ each where as Little Debbie brand is 50¢ each - but imagine my surprise to find the Blue Bird brand at the Dollar General for just 50¢ each!

Now, here's my gripe;  no matter what store you buy the Blue Bird brand, some IDIOTS for some reason feel they have to SQUEEZE the package's guts out, and once ruined (crushed) they decide they don't want to buy it.  I suspect its the same schtupid people who SQUEEZE the guts out of fruits and veggies, and never buy the ones they ruin.

If you know people like this - inform them that no human being on this Earth can detect the freshness of a pie buy SQUEEZING its guts out!  Thats why they have EXPIRATION DATES on them!  **cue Dave in a Chevy Chase stomping tantrum**

And as for tomatoes, plums or whatever else - when Chef's say they feel the fruit and veggies for freshness - THEY DO NOT SQUEEZE its guts out!  No! They FEEL it.  There is an art to the process.  Just hold the gosh darn thing in your hand.  Tactile feel does not mean SQUISHING!  [insert violent screaming session here]

I am a hairs breadth away from establishing my own vegetable & pie police department, complete with its own set of laws.  People who get caught SQUEEZING veggies, fruits or pies would be forced to buy EVERY veggie or fruit or that other customers ruined and never got caught OR face the wheel.  The wheel you ask?

Its a gizmo what I seen on one of the Mad Max movies where they chant "Bust a Deal, Face the Wheel!".  Its like that big wheel on Wheel of Fortune.  Spin it to see what your punishment will be.  One of which would be banishment to a country where they don't care about the condition of fruits just so long as its edible.

Speaking of which - as I put up the cart at Wally World's.., I seen their trash container had written in the side of it "Inedible".  Are people that stupid there's a need to write inedible on the side of a TRASH CAN!?  Children to young to understand that eating from trash cans is bad, CANT READ! Hello?

"Deep breaths, Daveman.., deep breaths!"  - yeah - sorry.  I got a grip now.  I'm cool. I'm good.  All settled down now.  I deeply apologize for this rant.  But I'm good now. [insert another Daveman doing the Chevy Chase body throw down, kicking, screaming, convulsing] 

CHEVY CHASE, HAVING A FIT
(About 3 minutes into the 5 minute video)
From "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"

If I were to try to have a big family Christmas gathering,  I am sure, poor Clark Griswold's xmas would be perfect by comparison.  The problems that would arise would be Biblical proportioned, I'm sure of it.