Heeeere's.., Daveman!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Welcome to the show ladies and gentledudes! It's good to see you here in the studio. And wasn't it cold out today?

[Audience: "How cold was it?"]

Ah-hem.., it was so cold..., a dog was frozen to a fire-hydrant in mid stream! [insert rim-shot]

[Audience: laughter and one faint boo]

I caught a rumor today that Vice President Chaney was invited to AbbyNormal's next Rapids Shoot. Chaney's a bit confused as he's only used to shooting quail and the occasional by-stander. Shooting rapids is a completely different sport and cant find a shooting license to cover it. Oh yah, like that stopped him before.

[Audience: laughter and one boo with a couple of hisses]

Oh c'mon. It's a joke already. Everyone knows the whole shooting thing was an accident. Speaking of accidents - Chaney had an aid bring him fresh pants after..., oh forget it - you're a tough audience tonight. Go back home and come back with a sense of humor.

[Audience: boos associated with a few giggles - camera closes in on female snorting - pans back to Daveman]

We were going to have a really good show for you this afternoon but all our guests canceled at the last minute. The Pope, ladies and gentlemen, was to show but found out we weren't paying him so he left. Which is fine by me. Also Chuck Norris, ladies and gentleman. Canceled. Why? He found out we weren't paying for his appearance.

And finally, musical guest, KevenTheOneArmedBoy canceled. Why? He was arrested and charged with being a OneArmed bandit at a local casino. It was all a misunderstanding. An old lady lost her life's savings in the slot machines - yelled in frustration.., "One armed bandit!" and of course Keven was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[Audience: Boos, hisses and throws tomatoes]

Whaaaaat!? Stop that! Wait! I can do sock puppets - no wait - Better! Shadow puppets!!... Hey! Stop! (daveman starts backing up toward the curtain exit)

[Audience rushes stage in a rage - screen turns to static feed - test pattern pops up]

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.... WE NOW BRING YOU A MUSICAL INTERLUDE; "PUFF THE MAGIC, DRAG ON" BY THE, DOOBIE BROTHERS

Posted at 04:08 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool


	plh February 20, 2006 05:40 PM PST can i get it on DVD yet? hehehe


	AbbyNormal February 20, 2006 04:08 PM PST Thanks a lot. Now I've gotta a buncha customers calling and demanding their money back for my rapid's shoot!


	Herb February 20, 2006 10:12 AM PST You might not want to quit yer job as a blogger just yet.


	Penny February 20, 2006 09:17 AM PST WOW! The Doobie Brothers did "Puff the Magic Dragon"?


	plh February 20, 2006 09:00 AM PST i want my mapoooooooooooo


	kevin the one-armed boy February 20, 2006 08:09 AM PST Ceaser, you're not a cereal killer are you?


	RaisingOrleans February 20, 2006 07:50 AM PST Good show old chap!


	CerealCaeser February 19, 2006 10:09 PM PST You have issues. Deep....seeded issues. Not the kind that requires Electro Convulsive Therapy or anything...but hey...don't knock it until you try it. :)


	Judy February 19, 2006 08:30 PM PST snort Do you think the Nielson ratings will keep your show afloat? Saw the Meme - I'll get around to it...someday!

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