Blog Police Report: AbbyNormal Blog Disturbance -also- Scott's Lawyer Kidnapped

Sunday, January 22, 2006

January 22, 2006

Around 2:15 am police were called to the Blog Residence of Abby Normal in the Blog Drive district due to loud noises and crashing sounds. Complaints were phoned in by several unidentified neighbors.

The arriving Blog Police unit was met by one witness known as, Daveman, and upstanding citizen in the Blog Drive district. When our presence was noted by those trespassing in AbbyNormal's blog residence, an un determined number of thugs leaped out of windows, doors and even basement openings and escaped arrest.

According to Daveman's report the ruckus started two days ago when AbbyNormal went to take care of her sick mother who works with orphans and serves as resident angel. Daveman tried to guard the house for Abby but was over-powered by common thugs who's names are, Herb, Scott, Magoo and Jerry -all of whom belong to a secret evil organization known as, Thugs-R-Us.

Daveman further stated these assailants were soon joined by other revelers known possibly as, Ssprite, Rob, Penny, Judy, FTS, g, Sharkbait, Celandine, Mrs Diamond. These vile wicked, evil, sinister and otherwise, mean people, according to Daveman, took advantage of his good sweet trusting innocent naive nature and continued to party and trash AbbyNormal's blog residence.

Visual inspection of said residence was shocking according to officers. Pizza stuck on ceilings, coffee and food stains on walls and furniture. The refrigerator looked like it had been assaulted by the A-Team on LSD. The bathroom had cookie crumbs and unidentifiable substances in the shower/bathtub. No bodies were found, but there were two dogs and a cat holed up in the doghouse - all of which were painted green with orange spots, otherwise seemed to be in good health though scared spitless.

Daveman was questioned at length and when asked about his credentials stated he distributed food for the needy orphans, helped old ladies across the street and often entertained the sick and needy at hospitals and homeless shelters. He even placed his hand on the Bible to this effect. Although officers were suspicious when the book turned out to be the Guns & Ammo Bible of Hunters Etiquette. Investigation is ongoing.

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Officers responded to a call a few hours later at another Blog Drive district residence Lawyer's office. It appears that a Lawyer of one Scott was kidnapped and a drawer marked evidence had been forced open and emptied of its contents. The only thing left behind, perhaps an oversight was three photos of a fleet of black vans and mysterious men dressed in black hauling an unidentified male away. This investigation is ongoing.

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=== this entry is pure parody/satire with good humored stabs at really great folks - so if there's anyone lame enough to actually believe this jive, seek professional help immediately ====

Posted at 09:17 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool


	Penny January 23, 2006 07:57 AM PST I think Daveman's foot swelled to the point that it got caught in his mouth ... someone hand me a wench to get that thing loose so he can tell the TRUTH about what happened at Abby's! HE started it ... and I've got the invitation to prove it!


	plh January 23, 2006 06:45 AM PST Daveman Guido that cheap italian silk tie is stained with steaksauce - you will NOT get away you ringleader you hehehe


	Herb January 23, 2006 04:40 AM PST I'm turning blog's evidence. Daveman is "da Boss" at "Thugs-r-us."


	Sharkbait January 23, 2006 01:58 AM PST I din do nuthing man!!!! why..All i wanted was the jar of...erm...of...smth.. oh hey daveman....you've got some green spots on your hair!


	FTS January 22, 2006 08:59 PM PST I have an alibi. A witness saw me hanging around another blog at the time we -- er, you all -- were having a go at Abby's. They're available to testify as soo as they get the pay -- er, subpoena.


	Judy January 22, 2006 08:37 PM PST I was merely there to maintain order. Ossifer??? Ossifer??? We dinnn do nuddin' ossifer!


	plh January 22, 2006 02:07 PM PST Daveman would you please give me the unstickum for the gorilla glue & please unlock the cuff on my other hand... ...as for guilty said in best Bartman voice 'i didnt do itttttttt' - Abby i did see a yard sale down the street at Friendster that has many items (espcially the two lampshades) that look very much like items from your home - Daveman ill get you for this mess in my purse one of these days shaking hand like crazy with purse well stuck...


	scott January 22, 2006 01:25 PM PST Heeeey! Gimme my lawyer back! Dude charges by the hour! Guess I'd better practise my shivving skills for the 'Big House'.


	Daveman January 22, 2006 11:33 AM PST Yes Ma'am Abby - I cleaned it up all by myself and .. and...thinking and I hosed everything down with dissinfectant. pats self on head


	AbbyNormal January 22, 2006 11:24 AM PST Really! This happened at MY place while I was gone! Well, shoot, somebody's since come over and tidied my place right up smart, now! It was you, wasn't it? And the dogs - they're so obedient now....almost as if they'd been through some sort of trauma!


	Celandine January 22, 2006 11:15 AM PST LOL I protest. It was not me trashing Abby's place. It was my nefarious doppelganger who is on Interpol's Most Wanted List for horrendous crimes against humanity, like serving milk one day past expiration date, making crank calls to PizzaPizza, and worst of all, used book abuse. shudder

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