Diary of a Madman - 2

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Excerpts from my new book

coming to a Book Store Nearest You in the Rejects Isle...

I once tried pressing flowers. It added nothing to my biceps or triceps and besides that, I have come to the conclusion that flower pressing is not a valid gym activity.

I once went fly-fishing and was sadly disappointed. All I caught was fish. That was two hours down the drain. Besides; what am I gunna do with a mess of flies? Well - there is that fly resurrection trick but it seems there's no paying audience for it so, David Copperfield's job is safe.

My dawg had ticks once. Poor dawg would walk around with his head and legs flenching.., and bark out sudden utterly profane words. Turrets in dawgs - stop the insanity.

I once ate a roach. It was not by choice but as a matter of fate. Sipping tea at a friend's house - while unbeknownst to me - a roach was crawling across the ceiling, saw my pool of cool fluids and did a triple jack-knife dive into the drink. Without looking at the glass, I turned it up - felt something in my mouth just before my teeth CRUNCHED down on what I had hoped was a piece of wet bread.... wet bread don't crunch I no longer visit that friend. I still wash my mouth out with Lysol when I think about that moment.

Posted at 09:21 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool


	Giggles December 20, 2005 11:52 AM PST OH sweet mother of all that is good and holy........I don't know if washing my mouth out would be good enough....ever!! I'm glad you chose to never visit that friend again...there's no telling what else would have found its way into your mouth..... errr.....nevermind...


	Penny December 19, 2005 07:19 AM PST Ooooohhhhh ... I HATE roaches! I would have spit that thing out and left screaming so fast the roach would have wondered if your turret affected dawg was fishing in a field of flowers! ICK!!!


	Majestee December 17, 2005 11:22 AM PST rofl at the cockroach incident. omgosh, that has got to be nauseating. I would have thrown up all over my friend's living room personally.


	plh December 17, 2005 10:28 AM PST hehehe i still like the bookcover best ;)


	AbbyNormal December 17, 2005 10:25 AM PST zooming with my dial-up over to amazon to add this to my wish list! The flower pressing and the fly fishing I'm not falling for. But you having a dog with turrets and eating/drinking a roach - I think them are true.

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